limes and raindrops

2009-01-29T20:51:00.001-05:00

Heh. I read through many, many, many of my old entries into this thing today. It's crazy how things change.

2008-02-27T21:42:00.002-05:00

"So are you hatin' on me now?""No, I'm not hatin' on you?""Well, I didn't know if the tie was hostile or not.""Not entirely.""Well, speak your mind. What's up?""There's just been a lot on my mind lately, but I gave you the tie because it has been sitting in the same spot since Homecoming. I just needed to give it back.""Anything else? I know there's more.""I'm okay, really. Were the Netherlands

2008-02-23T15:06:00.001-05:00

Had three. Now zero.The first has been. and always will be, a liar, so I guess it's only fitting. Responsibilities, he said. The choice between two people he loved, he said. Convenient, really. A lie the whole time, I knew. Friends, of course. So much better than before. It boggled my mind, really, but I certainly wasn't one to complain. The past week has been anything but normal, but he's been

2008-02-20T17:22:00.002-05:00

This is the first time in a very long time that I can honestly say that I don't feel anything. I don't feel happy or sad, excited or nervous, loved or hated. I don't feel anything.I think it's ironic that I'm being preached at by people that can't even live the words that they're saying. They can pray for me, but they won't consider the idea of NOT spreading rumors and gossip. I'm a whore, they

2008-02-16T16:59:00.002-05:00

"Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't have to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean." - Bob Marley"You didn't lose your two best friends, Ab. You lost two good friends. If they were your best friends, you wouldn't have lost them." - Nathaniel"You and me? We'll just run. I was dissappointed when you told me, but I was your

2008-02-03T09:41:00.000-05:00

i8yourbluecrayon: I can understand what you're saying though. It's like a tease, just a little taste and then you have to wait for what feels like forever for the next serving.Well, here I am. Back again. Absolutely out of my mind.

2007-11-01T15:45:00.000-04:00

I've become comfortably numb. Sort of. Every word of every line that Nate throws in my face is completely deserved. As vicious as those words may be, I have to take it. I put him through an inconcievable amount of pain. All for what? My happiness? Lately, there's no such thing. I'm dating Thomas, but I'm incapable of feeling anything. I like him, but in the grand scheme of things, is that what's

2007-10-07T17:06:00.001-04:00

I am incredibly predictable. Every time, every few months, I come back to this place. Each entry contains feelings that can't be expressed to the general public, or to anyone at all. This time, it's a little different. So, this one's for Grace, my best friend in the whole entire world.Just like last time, I'm still scared out of my mind to say the things that I'm going to say. You are my best

Dear iPod.

2007-09-05T15:28:00.001-04:00

Music > Playlists > Abitha > chickennoodlesoupdailyhugsmixtapesjack'smannequingoodloveisonthewaylatenightslongtalksandeverythingelsethatcanpossiblyfitbetweenthetwoofus.Fireworks5:19RunLove and MemoriesJessica

2007-08-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

Damnnnnn itttttt.It's only the third freaking day of school and I can feel it starting again. It's a glorious thing, but it's destined to destroy me. Even still, nothing can stop me from looking forward to.. whatever it may be. Here's to my weakness. Here's to you, here's to me. Here's to our iambic pentameter and rythmic schemes. Here's to our motion. And whatever comes along with that. I'll

2007-06-08T09:18:00.001-04:00

This is like an addiction. I have to feed it every once in a while to keep my sanity. I come back to this place when things go wrong, and when I have no one else in the world to talk to. I've reached that point once again. My friends, my boyfriend. No one. I've been fighting with myself for the past few days, but I've finally come to the realization that I'm not wanted. I'm not welcome anywhere.

2007-04-27T22:47:00.000-04:00

I feel used, and I feel empty. Something is just missing, and I can't seem to place my finger on it. I'm not quite satisfied, and I feel like that makes me a worse person.When it comes to Kevin, I don't know. I feel.. lots of different things. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. He makes me nervous. And then he makes me mad. It's ridiculous how something so little can make my heart hurt like it

2007-04-09T00:18:00.000-04:00

legokev6: Someday we'll try you and melegokev6: but in the mean time.....goodnight Abitha

2007-04-06T16:12:00.000-04:00

I don't trust people very easily. I never have, and I don't think that I ever will. Wednesday, I walked out of school, and I saw Nate standing by his car talking to (none other than) Kelly. In that moment, so many thoughts started flying through my head. My insecurities have always taken the best of me, just like they did at that moment. And just like always, as soon as something solid is shaken,

2007-01-02T10:48:00.000-05:00

Happy 2007.It makes me kind of crazy to think about all of the things that are going to happen this year.This year, so many of our close friends are going to graduate and move away, leaving us here in little old Boiling Springs. Nate's graduating this year, and going 2 hours away from me. This year, we become Seniors; we get to be on top of the school. We will finally win PowderPuff. I will

2006-11-23T15:35:00.000-05:00

Mary Beam.August 12, 1921 - November 18, 2006.We love and miss you.

2006-11-23T15:06:00.000-05:00

You called me last night on the telephoneAnd I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all aloneYou said, it's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this weather.Now I walk through blizzards just to get us back togetherWe met in the springtime at a rock-and-roll showIt was on the bowery when it was time to goWe kissed on the subway in the middle of the nightI held your hand, you held mine, it was the

2006-11-11T19:31:00.000-05:00

Once again, I've found myself losing control. I've lost control of my family and life. It's like a ritual. When something happens, I blast my music as loud as it can possibly go, and I come here. I run back to this place like a safe haven. I can write freely all of my thoughts and feelings. I know you feel helpless nowAnd I know you feel alone. I went to see her again today. Yesterday, she was so

2006-10-12T23:12:00.000-04:00

And here I am again. I find myself in this place far too often than I should. That point in my life where absolutely everything that can go wrong does. It's the worst feeling in the world, by far. I'd like to say that I have a lot of friends, but I don't. There are the few that have stuck with me, and then the rest of them are two-faced. They're friendly to your face, but they stab you in the

2006-10-08T13:46:00.000-04:00

No matter what happens between the two of you, he never wants to see you hurting. He cares, Abby, and he always has. Sometimes he just had to hide it. I need you to know that. He never left you. His heart broke when yours did. He keeps tabs on you; wondering what you're doing, how life is treating you. He's curious. He's curious because he cares about you. He has a funny way of showing it. So

2006-07-30T13:11:00.000-04:00

I don't quite know how to say how I feelThose three words are said too much They're not enough Love. While most girls claim love to be their best friend, I submit that it's actually a girls' worst nightmare.Or maybe it's just my worst nightmare. That's entirely possible. This feeling is terrible: Doubt.Yes, he said that he loves me, and I don't doubt that his intentions are anything but good. I

2006-07-12T16:00:00.000-04:00

So here I am again. I have found that every time I overthink something, my thoughts and feelings get written in here. Why? Because this is only read by the most important people in my life. They already know everything that I'm thinking, they already know all of it before it's written down in this form of a diary. To everyone else, it's lost. And thus begins my mundane rambling for today.What is

2006-06-20T19:20:00.000-04:00

So is it okay if I miss him? Because I do. I know that I've got everything that I could ever want, everything that I could ever need, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about him every once in a while. I wonder how he's doing, I wonder how life is treating him. And I think about what I could do to make him realize that I'm still here for him. Or I think about how I just want everything to end

2006-05-14T21:19:00.000-04:00

"I won't let anything happen to her. I care about her too much."---The best feeling in the world? Feeling protected and cared for. Thanks.

2006-05-13T14:44:00.000-04:00

I'm so afraid to love you, I'm more afraid to loseClinging to a past that doesn't let me choose..My past. It's going to be the death of me. I'm so afraid to give him my heart, because every other time, it's been ripped apart. And to be completely honest, I can't take that again. My life has been a merry-go-round of heartbreak. Same story, different people. Every time. It's made me bitter, it's

2006-05-12T00:58:00.000-04:00

Blondie3535: so how's life been treating you?bswrestlerdork06: eh..Blondie3535: :-\ that's no goodbswrestlerdork06: yeah...Blondie3535: everything okay?bswrestlerdork06: yeah, everythings fineBlondie3535: alrightbswrestlerdork06 is away at 10:25 PMI'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you.

2006-05-06T19:41:00.000-04:00

6 am day after ChristmasI throw some clothes on in the darkThe smell of coldCar seat is freezingThe world is sleepingI am numbUp the stairs to her apartmentShe is balled up on the couchHer mom and dad went down to CharlotteThey're not home to find us outAnd we driveNow that I have found someoneI'm feeling more aloneThan I ever have beforeShe's a brick and I'm drowning slowlyThey call her name at

Here's to College.

2006-04-17T14:56:00.000-04:00

To September. May you be strong enough to remember me when you leave. I'll miss you. And I need you to remember that I've always been here and I always will be.He was working through college on my grandpa's farm I was thirsting for knowledge and he had a car I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child When one restless summer we found love growing wild On the banks of the river on a well

2006-03-28T20:56:00.000-05:00

Hmm.. she's turning into Kendra. Yay. Just what I need. Sorry, but when I had a real conversation with her last night, I realized how few we've had since they've been dating. And it sucks. I don't want to say anything so I write in my blog because not many people read it. This is like the only place that I can say whatever I'm feeling and only the people that care are going to find it. Those are

2006-03-23T20:25:00.000-05:00

GAH.. As I'm spilling out every freaking detail about my family, all she can say is, "ic." What is that? They are dying and she says ic. Is that odd? She's my best friend.. and ic?!On top of that, she's worried that she doesn't have enough time to call/hang out with Phil and she feels bad, which is honestly completely understandable. But did it completely slip her mind that she hasn't called/

You had a bad day..

2006-03-22T11:08:00.000-05:00

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know / Please don't say you're sorry / I've heard it all before / And I can take care of myself / I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know / Please don't say 'forgive me' / I've seen it all before / And I can't take it anymore. This new rhythm I pursue / Is just my getting over you / Telling myself that I need to. The days are better, the nights are still so

2006-03-22T10:49:00.000-05:00

So, my dearest blogger. I'm frustrated and confused and hurt. Many things. I'm frustrated because I don't understand him. I want to make everything okay for him, but I can't do that. I would if I could, and I want him to know that. I'd do anything to make him feel like things were going his way, but I can't. I truly can't. And it's sad. It's pathetic that once again, I have to give up my

2006-02-20T19:00:00.000-05:00

So here we are again. Once again, I come out on the bottom. And I feel like I should just be used to this by now. The whole heart break thing. By now, I should be the queen of it all. I guess it hurts so much because of last night when we talked.. he told me I didn't have to worry about anything. Bull shit. I just.. don't even know where to start. My mind is spinning in so many directions, I

Don't give up on me.

2006-02-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

I feel like this applies to life right now. Everything's crazy now. Today really wasn't so bad until I found that comment. I guess that hurt more than anything.. because I think that it shakes the trust that I had in him. And what I thought was significant wasn't.. at all. I wish I could change the way things are right now. Obviously, I can't. She wins, hands down. He chose her over me.. and that

2006-01-15T13:34:00.000-05:00

Dear Abby,I hope life has been treating you well. I think about you and I just want to talk to you, encourage you, and protect.Let's talk about mountains. You start climbing one, you toil, you sweat, you finally reach the top, and what do you get? Well, along with a sense of accomplishment, of peace, of a job well done, along with the satisfaction of doing what you set out to do... you get a

Fall on me; tell me everything you want me to be.

2006-01-11T15:43:00.000-05:00

I think it's safe to say that I'm scared. I'm worried, I'm jealous, I'm angry, I'm nervous, I'm confused, and I'm hurt. I'm letting my friends down, I'm letting myself down. I'm just.. not myself anymore.I know what's going to happen. I'm in a constant battle with myself. Let me ask you. If you knew something was going to happen to one of your best friends and you knew that they were going to get

2006-01-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

It's funny how this anticipation kills me. I wonder what you're going to say next. I wonder if you'll make or break my day. I trust you to make me happy, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.. it didn't the first time. It's funny how your touch makes me shiver. I can't stand to be close to you because I just want you to hold me like you did. It's funny how different we are. We used to

I need to keep you like this in my mind..

2005-12-28T17:22:00.000-05:00

Are we going up or just going down?It's just a matter of time until we're all found outTake our tears and put them on ice'Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the lightWe're the therapists pumping through your speakersDelivering just what you needWe're well read and poised We're the best boysWe're the chemists who've found the formulaTo make your heart swell and burstNo matter what

2005-12-22T22:06:00.000-05:00

Kiss me out of the bearded barleyNightly, beside the green, green grassSwing, swing, swing the spinning stepYou wear those shoes and I will wear that dressOh, kiss me beneath the milky twilightLead me out on the moonlit floorLift up your open handStrike up the band and make the fireflies danceSilver moon's sparklingSo kiss meKiss me down by the broken tree houseSwing me upon it's hanging

2005-12-17T15:28:00.000-05:00

24 hoursI've been sitting in the dirt for 24 hoursI'd forgotten my own worth for 24 hoursSaid that you'd be here last nightI'm trying to shake you from my skin for 48 hoursClean up this mess I've been put in for 48 hoursI'm guessing you can't always winI can have anything I wantThey say I'm just too young, but it's not my faultI'll find my own way home if I gottaI'll make it all alone if I

Let's go out tonight.

2005-12-17T15:17:00.000-05:00

I feel chained downChained downYou shove me to the groundI can't run, I can't shoutHeld back, just let me out For someone heartlessThis couldn't mean lessBut I'll push it in your face(I've got my reasons)I'm only human(And I've got something to say)Let me riseLet me fallLet me breatheI wanna lose control, I'm not afraid to lose it allLet me breakLet me crawl'Cause I will get back up again, if you

He's such a beautiful disaster.

2005-12-17T15:02:00.000-05:00

A few songs for my mood this morning. Enjoy. Won't you let me catch your fall?Won't you let me lend a hand?Those lonely eyes have seen it allBut love's too blind to understand 'Cause you don't know what you haveTil your everything is goneYou need someone to show you how to live again I wanna be there when you're feeling highI wanna be there when you wanna dieI'm gonna light your fireGonna feel

2005-12-13T12:24:00.000-05:00

This post is in honor of Alison Elizabeth Aunkst.Every even day, from 11:45 to 1:15, I am blessed to be in the presence of the beautiful Ali Aunkst. Her cheer, humor, and spunk always makes (or make, says my Honors English Queen) my day much more enjoyable. During this short class that we have together, time is often spent making fun of our favorite Dan Calaman (Calamari). This is our definition

2005-12-11T09:42:00.000-05:00

So I don't even know where to start. I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at a few others. I've hurt a few, been hurt by a few. It's a give and take, I guess. I'm just not sure what to do right now. I don't want to talk to anyone because I don't trust them. JEGJMP. I made that list last night. And a big part of relationships--especially being best friends--that requires trust, right?I trusted that

All at once, the crowd begins to sing..

2005-12-06T20:08:00.000-05:00

I don't think that it's ever hurt so much.

2005-11-29T23:25:00.000-05:00

There are certain people you just keep coming back toShe is right in front of youYou begin to wonder could you find a better oneCompared to her now she's in questionAnd all at once the crowd begins to singSometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the sameMaybe you want her, maybe you need herMaybe you started to compare to someone not thereLooking for the right one you line up the world

2005-11-27T14:11:00.000-05:00

Will someone please call a surgeonWho can crack my ribs and repair this broken heartThat you're deserting for better company?I can't accept that it's overI will block the door like a goalie tending the netIn the third quarter of a tied-game rivalrySo just say how to make it rightAnd I swear I'll do my best to complyTell me am I right to think that there could be nothing betterThan making you my

And it's been far too long since I last laid eyes on you

2005-11-25T17:11:00.000-05:00

Remember last ChristmasWhen we sat next to our first treeOrnaments reflected lightOf a candle in the nightAnd I gave you a music boxBack then, that seemed like so muchWe watched it go round and roundAs the melodies unwoundBut all these things are now long goneAnd not to be wished upon againBut the music box continues to turnThe candle in the window continues to burnBut I know they're just

Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight..

2005-11-23T21:02:00.000-05:00

You took my hand and said, "Let's dance." You led me onto the dance floor and turned me to face you.It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wearShe puts on her make up and brushes her long blonde hairAnd then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."You pulled me closer to you and I layed my head on your shoulder. You sang along with the

2005-11-17T10:07:00.000-05:00

2005-11-13T21:21:00.000-05:00

when your throat starts to clench& tingle & your heart gets so warmthe heat travels through your body,when your stomach starts to feelthose unforgiving butterflies thatspark the instant flow of tears. that'sthe worst pain you'll ever feel. thatis your heart breaking.^well put.. taken straight from Grace's xanga. [sigh]

2005-10-28T16:15:00.000-04:00

this post is in honor of jason a mcdermott.To see you when I wake upIs a gift I didn't think could be real.To know that you feel the same as I doIs a three-fold, Utopian dream.You do something to me that I can't explain.So would I be out of line if I said,"I miss you"?I see your picture,I smell your skin onThe empty pillow next to mine.You have only been gone ten days,But already I'm wasting

2005-09-24T14:59:00.000-04:00

these are what keep me running..something about her, wonder what is it?something about her that makes her the bestsomething about her, more rare than the restsomething about her, I knew for suresomething about her, wanting to know moresomething about her as we talked through the nightsomething about her made me sweat with frightsomething about her got us by ourselvessomething about her made me

2005-09-14T21:23:00.000-04:00

for erin..Jessie is a friendYeah, I know he’s been a good friend of mineBut lately something’s changed that ain’t hard to defineJessie’s got himself a girl and I wanna make her mineAnd she’s watchin’ him with those eyesAnd she’s lovin’ him with that body, I just know itAnd he’s holding her in his arms late, late at nightYou know I wish that I had Jessie’s girlI wish that I had Jessie’s girlWhere

2005-09-10T15:55:00.000-04:00

this is my lifeit's not what it was beforeall these feelings i've sharedand these are my dreamsthat i'd never lived beforesomebody shake me'cause i, i must be sleepingnow that we're here,it's so far awayall the struggle we thought was in vainall in the mistakes,one life containedthey all finally start to go awaynow that we're here,it's so far awayand i feel like i can face the day, i can

2005-09-07T20:18:00.000-04:00

i hate everything about you.

2005-09-03T19:15:00.000-04:00

you are like a butterflydreams are sweeping, try to flybust out of this old cocoondry your wings offbutterflydon't you cryit's always such a lonely moveor it's southern like a broken boneyou know luck won't always come your waybut dry your tears awaybutterflydon't you crydry your tears awaybutterflygo ahead and fly

2005-09-01T21:48:00.000-04:00

one, two, three strikes--you're out.so why would it be that i've let you go to six now? six times in two days.why does it have to be like this?"who's in this class?"me. try talking to me for once.

2005-08-29T20:39:00.000-04:00

Elster5306: look at his away messageElster5306: your between commas867-5309. hah. :-P

2005-08-28T14:06:00.000-04:00

If you were to buy me, it would cost you $783,382.59! What are you worth? Find Out Here

2005-08-27T09:17:00.000-04:00

haven't heard this song in quite a while.. do not tell me what i can and cannot do when i rock(wait, hold up, this is my favorite part)do not tell me what i can and cannot do when i rockdo not tell me what i can and cannot do when i rock (you know what man? you pay five bucks to come in hereto just stand in the back and act like you're too "hard" toenjoy yourself! Well, actually, I didn't have to

2005-08-26T19:29:00.000-04:00

soooo no lauren's tonight.. or ehly's. this saddens me :( that's okay.. i get to spend some quality time with the family.. and then maybe go shopping.. that's always good fun.happy belated birthday to Emma DeVault on the 16th. Here's to 15.happy belated surprise birthday to Grace Murtoff on Wednesday. Here's to 15.happy early birthday to Caitlin Heinlen in 6 days. Here's to 16.why don't you write

2005-08-26T09:16:00.000-04:00

so this is for the past day or so..wednesday night i spent the night at erin's house and we planned out everything that we were going to do for grace :) we stayed up till like 3 watching 'win a date with matt mcdermott', then we went to bed, got up around 9? yeah, then jason told us he wanted pancakes, so we made him those eensy-beensy teeny-weeny aunt jemima ones.. haha clever move on erin's

2005-08-24T08:14:00.000-04:00

I guess this time you're really leaving I heard your suitcase say goodbye Well, as my broken heart lies bleeding You say true love, it's suicide You say you've cried a thousand rivers And now you're swimming for the shore You left me drowning in my tears And you won't save me anymore I pray to God you'll give me one more chance, girl I'll be there for you These five words I swear to you When

2005-08-23T21:29:00.000-04:00

Name 20 people you know in random order:1. Elliot2. Erin3. Grace4. Lindsay5. Jason6. Bri7. Kristin8. Sarah9. Dan10. Jordan11. Matt12. Kirsti13. Caitlin14. Pat15. Emily16. Jestine17. Hannah18. Dave19. Matt (the Brit)20. TommyHow did you meet 13? field hockey in 7th gradeWhat would you do if you never met 5? awww, be very very sad.. and have no one there to cheer me on.. and to remind about those

2005-08-21T14:24:00.000-04:00

tonight--oasis (with the slip-n-slide. sweet.) after my great-grandma's birthday party.. and at oasis (after the freakin' awesome slip-n-slide, that is) we're tye-dying shirts and saying good-bye to tk (in all his perfectness), jake (in all his sleepyness.. during church, lol), jeff (in all his outgoingness), and jason (in all his.. hmm.. musicness, outgoingness, funnyness, and.. threateningness?

2005-08-20T13:17:00.000-04:00

summer has come and passedthe innocent can never lastwake me up when september endslike my fathers come to passseven years has gone so fastwake me up when september endshere comes the rain againfalling from the starsdrenched in my pain againbecoming who we areas my memory restsbut never forgets what I lostwake me up when september endssummer has come and passedthe innocent can never lastwake me

2005-08-19T21:40:00.000-04:00

so i looked up our pimped names..mine: dirty dicklindsay: the purple suitmeredith: ding dong bongerin: jolly jacobsongrace: ghetto fabulousoemily: duq whackkristin: vagina wagon

2005-08-19T19:10:00.000-04:00

hmm.. football players watching us practice? motivating. :) although i couldn't help wondering if.. -sigh- i wish. ah, c'est la vie. hannah: can anyone get me a gun?holly: we're good, really, we are.lindsay: except for when you snuck out.holly: that was once. but really, we just have a different kind of fun.BW's for LIFE!

2005-08-19T09:07:00.000-04:00

Wishin1CouldRock (7:02:17 AM): i love you abby! :)aww, don't leave.

2005-08-17T20:38:00.000-04:00

'And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her... to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. Jen, Jack, Audrey, Andie, Pacey, and Dawson.

two years later, you're still on my mind.

2005-08-17T11:50:00.000-04:00

90 miles outside ChicagoCan't stop driving, I don't know whySo many questions I need some answersTwo years later you're still on my mindWhatever happened to the Uptown theatre?Yeah, it held the stars up in the skyIs true love just once in a lifetime?Did the captain of the Titanic cry?Someday we'll knowWhy love can't move a mountainSomeday we'll knowWhy the sky is blueSomeday we'll knowWhy I

2005-08-16T10:46:00.000-04:00

ok, so i'm addicted to spider solitaire. :) haha and i decided to re-read this lullabye.. grace gave it back to me the other day and i picked it up and started to read because (FINALLY) i finished disputed passage, so that left me with already read books. hmph, why not? anyways, in this book, i've found some pretty kick-butt lines that i'll be posting over the next couple of days.He smiles, and

2005-08-15T20:58:00.000-04:00

hell week, day number one is officially over. sweet. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. we timed miles, then did 4 laps around the field (warm ups and cool downs).. then we did a buttload of drills and a few scrimmages.. that's it. i was definitely expecting coach to be like, hmm, alright, go run 3 miles.. be back in 24 minutes. haha i would've laughed if that were the case.. but i'm

2005-08-13T14:35:00.000-04:00

am i the only one? yeah. am i sexual? yeah. ^hahahahaha that amused me.grace is coming over tonight :) makes me happy.. haven't seen her in a long time! oldies night, jam-packed with sorbet, mac-n-cheese, and popcorn.. sweet. nine-oh in the morning? maybe (erin) if i feel like going (i don't).. same goes for oasis.. except i don't quite have a ride to ashley's. oh darn. :)oh, and can i say how

i'll never break your heart.

2005-08-13T00:32:00.000-04:00

Baby, I know you are hurtingRight now you feel like you could never love againNow all I ask is for a chanceTo prove that I love youFrom the first dayThat I saw your smiling faceHoney, I knew that we would be together foreverWhen I asked you outYou said no, but I found outDarling, that you'd been hurtYou felt that you'd never love againI deserve a try, honey, just onceGive me a chance and I'll

2005-08-11T20:43:00.000-04:00

every rose has its thornjust like every night has its dawnjust like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song

2005-08-10T23:07:00.000-04:00

Empty spaces fill me up with holesDistant faces with no place left to goWithout you within me I can’t find no restWhere I’m going is anybody’s guessI’ve tried to go on like I never knew youI’m awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all I’m going to be is incompleteVoices tell me I should carry onBut I am swimming in an ocean all aloneBaby, my babyIt’s

2005-08-10T14:49:00.000-04:00

as of right now, i just wasted $300 and i'm extremely upset with the management of east coast field hockey. so for all who don't know this, i left my retainers at camp.. well, there are NO phones up there to call, and they hardly ever check e-mails. but i thought i'd give it a try and e-mail them and see if they found any up there.. and they didn't write back, and they didn't write back, and they

sugar, we're going down swinging.

2005-08-09T15:26:00.000-04:00

hey everyone.. last night rocked. good concert. we met up with everyone and talked for a while. pat (the germ-phobe), kristin, erin, matt, ko, ash pasq, elizabeth, and kirsti.. good time. and meredith got her birthday lettuce (and the tradition continues). this morning, me and mere watched jason bourne run around my tv screen for about 4 hours, then made lunch, and just dilly-dallied till 3 when

2005-08-09T00:46:00.000-04:00

How many times do I have to try to tell youThat I'm sorry for the things I've doneBut when I start to try to tell youThat's when you have to tell meHey, this kind of trouble's only just begunI tell myself too many timesWhy don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shutThat's why it hurts so bad to hear the wordsThat keep on falling from your mouthFalling from your mouthFalling from your

it felt like springtime on this february morning.

2005-08-07T21:36:00.000-04:00

you are my sunshinemy only sunshineyou make me happywhen skies are grayyou'll never know dearhow much i love youplease don't takemy sunshine away.sing it again.

2005-08-06T22:25:00.000-04:00

it was her wedding day.. a sunny day in june. she was pregnant.. that was probably the main reason she was getting married in the first place. if she would have known that it wouldn't last forever, maybe she wouldn't have done it and saved herself and her family from a lot of pain. her mother was happy for her. her father wasn't even there. and that hurt her more than she could ever know. her

2005-08-06T13:40:00.000-04:00

Who can say where the road goesWhere the day flows, only timeAnd who can say if your love growsAs your heart chose, only timeWho can say why your heart sighsAs your love flies, only timeAnd who can say why your heart criesWhen your love lies, only timeWho can say when the roads meetThat love might be in your heartAnd who can say when the day sleepsIf the night keeps all your heartNight keeps all

2005-08-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

Call you up in the middle of the nightLike a firefly without a lightYou were there like a slow torch burningI was a key that could use a little turningSo tired that I couldn't even sleepSo many secrets I couldn't keepPromised myself I wouldn't weepOne more promise I couldn't keepIt seems no one can help me nowI'm in too deepThere's no way outThis time I have really led myself astrayRunaway train

2005-08-04T18:56:00.000-04:00

hey y'all, i'm home. :) don't want to be though, i wish that the 12 of us were up in manhattan with matt right now. -sigh- but all good things must come to an end, right? hmph, unfortunately. haha i'll write all the little jokes from this week in my xanga sometime tonight, so if you feel like reading them, go there. i'll spare you from most of them on here. anyways, got home today around 4:30,

2005-07-30T14:26:00.000-04:00

this may be my last post for a few days.. i leave for east coast in the morning. mixed feelings on that.. i feel like if i don't die while i'm there, i will come back in like, the best shape i've ever been in and a total hockey beast.. now, i do realize that both of the above listed (dead and hockey beast) are rather sizeable exaggerations. but it wasn't real up until today when i started packing

2005-07-29T21:34:00.000-04:00

tonight was a good time.. olive garden, cold stone, starbucks, mini golfing, then to the future ahd sight.. nice place. and.. i drove the car. haha only like 100 yards, but i was so proud of myself, i didn't kill anyone. heck yes. i will be an awesome driver. :)

2005-07-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

paris -- summer of 2007 and 2008. sweet. it'll be so nice to get out of here.

I'll close my eyes and sleep to the sound of London rain

2005-07-29T15:13:00.000-04:00

first of all, happy birthday, lindsay. here's to fifteen.second of all.. i love this song.I’m coming, I’m coming home to youI’m alive, I’m a messI can’t wait to get home to youTo get warm and undressedThere’ve been changes beyond my dreamsEverybody wants me to singThere’ve been changes beyond my graspThings I’m sinking inSo keep me, keep me in your bed all day, all dayNothing heals me like you

you say i only hear what i want to.

2005-07-28T21:39:00.000-04:00

the roach's came over tonight.. kristin and i made pannenkoekens for our familes.. ham and cheese or strawberry. mmm :) pat had to eat and run.. off to basketball open gym, but the rest of us took our good 'ol time. then sarah made the dessert that kristin and i picked out.. chocolate fudge cake.. tres bon! with ice cream and strawberries.. mmmm. haha then mr. roach took me and kristin for a ride

2005-07-28T12:05:00.000-04:00

i'm fine. i don't need your pity, i can make it on my own.

2005-07-27T16:43:00.000-04:00

last night was a long one. as i continually relate my own life to the latest episode of dawson's creek, i find the more i want. and that sucks. it really does. i wrote a rather long and morose entry for last night, but decided it would be better left unread. i wouldn't dare risk being exposed here. or ya know, being shallow. (twice in the past week)so matt's mad at me. yippee-doo-dah-day. i'm

hold me in your arms tonight..

2005-07-26T19:01:00.000-04:00

got a nice phone call last night :) hope you're having fun in that magical place, hahatoday -- went to the bead shop and labeled new beads.. all day. very tedious, but i got it all done today, so maybe tomorrow i can get paid to make things :) today i picked out this freaking gorgeous strand of blue quartz and told sarah that i wanted to buy it.. then i looked at the price tag on that sucker:

2005-07-25T13:06:00.000-04:00

It felt like spring time on this February morningIn the courtyard birds were singing your praiseI'm still recalling things you said to make me feel alrightI carried them with me todayNowAs I lay me down to sleepThis I prayThat you will hold me dearThough I'm far awayI'll whisper your name into the skyAnd I will wake up happyI wonder why I feel so highThough I am not above the sorrowHeavy

2005-07-24T21:45:00.000-04:00

'it bothers me when i can't do things.''you can't have children, does that bother you?'haha i am the good luck charm for hand-and-foot.. that's right, undefeated, thank you. happy birthday, brett.today, church then kyle's party was at 3.. that was a good time. lots of time in the pool with meg.. i learned how to do a flip-turn! i was so proud of myself! schwing.. then cake and grape chicken salad

stuck inside eternal mystery.

2005-07-23T13:32:00.000-04:00

so i haven’t written anything in here for a day or two. thursday night, i went running with mandy. that was pretty sad. i could hardly hit the ball (my hand is bruised now, thankyouverymuch). right before i came, we ate dinner at the milton (i love that place), and i didn’t stretch before i ran.. oh. my. gosh. i thought i was going to puke. remind me not to do that again. ‘just wait until you get

2005-07-21T17:06:00.000-04:00

the first is for my lovely grace murtoff. and the second is for my lovely erin lehman. oh, i lubby you both. <3and the pictures for tomorrow will be dedicated to meredith and brett.. the birthday kids (even though it's not meredith's birthday.. her party will be bangin').

i'm not supposed to be scared of anything

2005-07-21T01:32:00.000-04:00

alllright, well this post is really for wednesday.. but since it's like 1 o'clock, it'll show up for thursday. now, i would also like to sing, happy birthday to you / happy birthday to you / happy birthday dear erin / happy birthday to you.. here's to fifteen. i hope you enjoy that birthday lettuce. haha, so tonight was frickin' awesome. i went to the bead shop and made erin a necklace, grace a

oh, how i love tom cruise :)

2005-07-19T19:48:00.000-04:00

^the smile.. it just kills me! oh, man..alright, so i most definitely have a little tom cruise on the brain, but what's to be expected after watching jerry mcguire? oh, man. good times today, ladies. tyler came down at just the wrong moment.. that would be why it's rated 'rrrrrrrrrr you ready to go upstairs?' haha and meredith's commercial ramblings.. even from the bathroom. hmm.. 'are jake and