Had three. Now zero.

The first has been. and always will be, a liar, so I guess it's only fitting. Responsibilities, he said. The choice between two people he loved, he said. Convenient, really. A lie the whole time, I knew. Friends, of course. So much better than before. It boggled my mind, really, but I certainly wasn't one to complain. The past week has been anything but normal, but he's been by my side, asking every night how I'm handling it all. Yesterday was the worst because that was the day I had to admit to myself that he hasn't changed. He still lies, but he thinks it's chivalrous because it's for my own protection. He doesn't want to hurt me. So, knowing everything I knew, I built a wall, like I always do. Without a second thought, he tried to knock it down, asking me the usual questions, but this time I found it so much more difficult to be honest with him. I couldn't do it. I told him I was fine, and turned back to the computer, but he wouldn't leave my side. Are you sure you're okay, he asked. My focus remained on the screen, and I answered robotically, yes. One hand slid to my cheek as he turned my face to look at him, and the other rested on my arm. And then he pulled out a line from the books, one that is so cheesy in writing, but so heartfelt when it hits the ear. "I can see it in your eyes that something's not right. I just wish you'd trust me with whatever it is. Maybe I've never given you a reason to trust me, but I need you to know that right now, right here, I'm ready for this. I'm ready for whatever you have to say. So please just let me in." Naturally, I walked right out the door.

The second is holding the first one against me.