Dear Abby,

I hope life has been treating you well. I think about you and I just want to talk to you, encourage you, and protect.

Let's talk about mountains. You start climbing one, you toil, you sweat, you finally reach the top, and what do you get? Well, along with a sense of accomplishment, of peace, of a job well done, along with the satisfaction of doing what you set out to do... you get a great view of the next mountain. Looming. Challenging. Calling your name.

But wait, don't feel like you have to take on that next mountain yet. Let's dwell on this one for a while. Lay there with your hands stretched out behind your head. Watch the clouds running across the sky and tell yourself you're on top of the world, because in a sense--you are. Just be for now, for you. Then, when you're ready...pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put that pack on your back, and start climbing down. One foot in front of the other, that's all you can do. This walk never ends, you know. There's always another mountain. That's what makes life thrilling and you breathless.

There are days, there are times, when you feel like you've walked so far, when the voice inside you is complaining that it's all uphill, that it always will be. And then, after all that, way beyond your blue horizon, you see the biggest mountain you've ever seen, and you think, "I can't do that."

Well, I hope you always have somebody who tells you that you can. Like I'm telling you now.

Love Always,
Mike

Fall on me; tell me everything you want me to be.

I think it's safe to say that I'm scared. I'm worried, I'm jealous, I'm angry, I'm nervous, I'm confused, and I'm hurt. I'm letting my friends down, I'm letting myself down. I'm just.. not myself anymore.

I know what's going to happen. I'm in a constant battle with myself. Let me ask you. If you knew something was going to happen to one of your best friends and you knew that they were going to get hurt, would you tell them (knowing that they ignored you the last time) or would let them go through with it and experience it for themselves? Because I'm torn. I want to protect her and get her out of this mess before it gets any worse.. but the last time I told her to be careful, we stopped talking and she went ahead with it.. only to get hurt in the end. And maybe after this, she'll learn. You know, "Live and learn." I just don't know what to do.

And to top it all off, the thing that I've been running from for the past 6 months is back. I left that place to get away from him.. and he's back. I know that I shouldn't be upset, because this girl was just probably trying to be nice, but she doesn't know our past. She has no idea what we've shared. We've been through so much, so maybe this will bring us closer together, but on the other hand, I think it will just drive us farther apart. I will put up a wall and expect him to break it down, but he's leaving after summer is over, and he won't even give me a second thought once he's gone. And that wall will stay standing forever because our relationship won't ever be the same.

There's just so much that I need to think about.

It's funny how this anticipation kills me. I wonder what you're going to say next. I wonder if you'll make or break my day. I trust you to make me happy, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.. it didn't the first time. It's funny how your touch makes me shiver. I can't stand to be close to you because I just want you to hold me like you did. It's funny how different we are. We used to laugh and joke and have fun.. now we're scared. We can't be honest. And it's killing me, it really is. Maybe someday I'll be able to tell you what I'm thinking, but right now, I'm just too scared.