wild thang, you make my heart sang.. you make everythang groovy..

tri-meet today against palmyra and west perry. girls lost by like, 2 points, how much does that suck? i got second in both of my meets, which totally rocks! i was so pumped. my times weren't too hot, but hey, i'm out of shape and it's the beginning of the season, it can only get better. oh man, today rocked. i mean, i had a totally awesome day. gym rocked, kendra and i will kick butt in tennis.

grace: matt and i are going to own tennis!
me: no way, kendra and i are definitely going to take you down.
grace: oh, i don't think so. who caught that one ball? that's right, that's right.
me: yeah, whatever, you've got nothing on us.
grace: --ghetto pushes me-- yeah? we'll see about that..
--at this point grace is walking backwards being all tough and ghetto when she trips over kendra and fall on her butt with a rather loud thud. yeah, tough girl image totally went down the drain.. it was the funniest thing ever--

and then english >> career day >> geometry >> french II >> track meet.. where i ran 100 and 300 hurdles for points in the 2nd heat with tia. i got second in both of them.. then later, dad told me that i needed to find a ride home, so i was talking to pat and aj:

me: hey, can either one of you give me a ride home?
pat: no, i'm leaving
me: for where?
aj: we're going to vriens *sp* birthday party at the all-star cafe.
pat: do you know anyone else that can give you a ride home?
me: umm..
aj: no, she doesn't have any friends..
me: yeah, yeah.. i could always ask austin rutz.. haha just kidding..
pat: i'll ask him for you
me: you will not
aj: --totally off subject-- are you drinking hot chocolate?
me: yeah?
aj: can i smell it?
me: -- hands it to aj-- it smells just like hot chocolate.. but you don't want to smell it, you want a sip.
aj: yep, thanks.

--5 minutes later austin walks over--
pat: hey, what are you doing after the meet?
me: pat, don't you dare..
austin: going home, why?
pat: can you take abby home? her parents went out for dinner.
austin: where do you live?
me: near tim corby
austin: all the way over there?
me: yes, all the way over there.. sorry
pat: yeah, i was just kidding..
austin: oh.. what are you drinking?
me: hot chocolate
austin: oh..
pat: ask to smell it
austin: why?
pat: that's what aj did when he wanted a sip
austin: abby, can i smell that?
me: sure
--takes a huge sip--
austin: thanks.. for uhh.. letting me smell your hot chocolate..
--austin leaves--
me: pat, i hate you
aj: hey pat, the stoner hates you
me: shut up aj
pat: and you thought i wouldn't do it
me: i can't believe you did it
pat: better believe it
aj: any more hot chocolate?

korzun.roach.rutz.thomas.
--you guys rock my world. i love you all.--

beam.bixler.dell.fay.korzun.stuber.weiland.hurdlers05.

he wasn't what i wanted, he wasn't what i thought..

hey, how is everyone? i'm doing alright, a little sore, but that's alright, today rocked. we had photo this morning where we did absolutely nothing.. then english class where we worked on our research project (and i got crime and punishment.. which totally rocks.. woohoo!) then off to french.. fun as usual.. can't wait for gabe to come back, he sits behind me now.. kendra, erin, and emily continued to make fun of me. it's not my fault i was cold, i'm sorry. i asked kendra if she had anything, but she didn't.. the only other one there was tyler. i'm really getting annoyed with this whole thing. anyway, geometry.. boring as usual.. then back to french.. tyler ticked me off and i'm totally not ready for that quiz tomorrow.. being out for 2 weeks does that to you. then grad project day, so i went to kendra's homeroom and we worked on homework.. and i talked to logan a lot, which was cool. i never get to talk to him or sean like, at all anymore, as they both told me today. got dismissed, went down to the locker room, where nerves and excitement filled the air. first track meet was today against shippensburg. the girls owned, the guys not so much. i totally got jipped out of my 100h, which made me really angry. grr. anyway, still ran the 300h.. ahh, i hate it! but, it's better than nothing so i'll put up with it. tomorrow, tri-meet at home. yay, fun. that means we'll be there EVEN LONGER. eww.

aj: you keeping your warm-up?
me: yeah, my name's on it.
aj: what's it say, stoner?
me: yeah, because you know i'm like that.
aj: lieto, this chick got high before the race
lieto: sweet
me: shut up.. what are you gonna put on yours? not stoner because i know you don't do drugs. --dripping with sarcasm--
aj: i don't do drugs
me: i bet
aj: i swear
me: ok, fine. do you drink?
aj: .. no
me: you lie
aj: i do not
me: do too. your dad told me you drink.
aj: ohh, daaaaddddyyyyyy..

lindsay: she looks like a salamander..
me: yeah, because i look like a rose. if she's a salamander, i'm like.. raccoon butt..
lindsay: HAHAHA
me: and she'll do drugs with him.. and i won't.. and she'll, umm, please him.. and i won't

aaron: slut
me: whore.
--what lovely conversations we have, huh? haha--

--pat scratches and austin gives him a hug and pats his butt--
somebody: i wish i were austin rutz..
me: i wish i were pat. austin rutz just smacked his butt..
kristin: oh abby..

alright, i'm pooped, g'night.

There's not much going on today.
I'm really bored, it's getting late.
What happened to my Saturday?
Monday's coming, the day I hate.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
This is when I start to bite my nails.
And clean my room when all else fails.
I think it's time for me to bail.
This point of view is getting stale.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
Na na na na na, we've all got choices.
Na na na na, we've all got voices.
Na na na na na, stand up make some noise.
Na na na na, stand up make some noise.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
Like I was special, cause I was special

from mere's xanga:
i'm the girl of your dreams masquarading as your best friend, and i wanna tell you i'm here, but i'm afraid you will run away.. my dad told me there are two types of girls.. ones you grow out of and ones you grow into.. i really hope i'm the latter.. because i'm willing to wait.. and i know your worth it.

do you remember when we used to sing? la la la la la la la la la la la la la.. la dee da

I'M RUNNING TOMORROW! 300h and 100h exhibition, but still, it's better than nothing considering i've been gone for 2 weeks. today the meet was cancelled, so we just had practice.. and i ran hurdles and blocks.. and it felt great.. i now remember why i joined the track team. i know i'm not mary or bixler, but i have so much fun. it's definitely great. :) funny times today..

stuber: OH MY GOSH, I JUST KILLED THE STATE CHAMPION!
hurdlers: smooth, kate. kill her before her first track meet. way to go.

aj: bam, bam, amsterdam!
me: you'd make a hott cheerleader someday, aj.
aj: you know it.. *does a little dance*
me: ooh, that's gorgeous.
aj: yeah, i know..
me: uhh, i was talking about austin rutz.
aj: psh, he's got nothing on me..
me: sure, aj.. i don't even see the comparison between you two. you totally win.
aj: that's my girl
--that's become his line lately.. that's my girl--

austin: if i were a hurdler, i'd just leap over them.. it would be so much easier..
me: go ahead and try it
austin: you just want to watch me fall..
me: yeah, that would make my day

me: will you be my two?!
court: i've been waiting for you to ask me.. i've waited all my life!

coach: pardon my french, but i don't want this to be a time for you to be grab-a**ing
courtney: yeah, baby.. *reaches hand out*
--haha highlight of my day..--

tyler: think of a punishment for yourself..
me: hmm.. massages every day?
tyler: yes, and i'll be naked.
me: sorry, you gotta wear clothes.
tyler: you know you want this
me: haha yeah, okay, i totally do.

fun day today.. i heart you all!

i only know they'll never make you stay..

boo.. i'm not running tomorrow. i guess that's to be expected, but still dissapointing no matter what the circumstances. "Don't let this year slide by like it's nothing. I know it's your freshman year, but don't think of it as no big deal. That what I did my sophomore year. I didn't think it was important. But here I am, my senior year, wishing I would have thought differently. I have one more football season and one more season of wrestling, and I wish I would've given it my all." -- advice from a good friend. hmph, this is going to be one long semester.

hey amsterdam.
hey.
did you have fun?
yeah.
did you get high?
no.
that's my girl. --gives me a really tight hug.. and doesn't let go--
aj, you make my day.

only a life lived for others is worth living. -- albert einstein. i think i've discovered the secret of life. you just hang around until you get used to it. -- charles schulz. live everyday as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be. -- jeremy schwartz. in three words, i can sum ip everything i've learned about life: it goes on. i could conquer the world with one hand if you were holding the other. this is the beginning of a new day. you have been given this day to use as you will. you can waste it oruse it for good. what you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. when tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind.. let it be something good. life is an oppurtunity, benefit from it. life is beauty, admire it. life is bliss, taste it. life is a dream, realize it. life is a challenge, meet it. life is a duty, complete it. life is a game, play it. life is a promise, fulfill it. life is sorrow, overcome it. life is a song, sing it. life is a struggle, accept it. life is a tragedy, confront it. life is an adventure, dare it. life is luck, make it. life is too precious, do not destroy it. life is life, fight for it. you shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it. maybe all men are a drug. sometimes they bring you down and sometimes they get you so high. one word, that's all you said.. something in your voice called me, turned my head.. your smile just captured me.. you were in my future as far as i could see.. and i don't know how it happens, but it happens still.. you asked me if i love you, if i always will.. you had me from hello.. so here's to teenage romances and never knowing why it hurts like hell.. it's so much easier to say 'i don't like him' than to explain all the reasons why i still do..

i hate the way that i give in so easily. why can't i just stang my ground? no, every time i get the chance, i fall right back into the old swing of things. i know that i'm making a mistake, but i do it anyway, and i always regret it. i have this way of doing things that i know i shouldn't, or falling for people that are totally wrong. he's not good for me and i know it.. but there's some part of me that won't let go. he's a sweet talker and i fall for it every single time. there's this battle inside of me between my heart and my head. my head tells me that it's all wrong, don't be stupid, abby. but my heart just won't let go, it just won't listen.

i may be normal, but it still hurts.

how am i supposed to live without you?

here's the schedule of meets..

3/29 Shippensburg
3/31 Palmyra, West Perry (tri-meet)
4/2 Harold Phillips Invitational (at Carlisle)
4/5 Greencastle
4/7 Big Spring
4/12 James Buchanon
4/16 Shippensburg University Invitational
4/19 East Pennsboro
4/23 Stan Morgan Invitational (at Carlisle)
4/26 Scotland
4/28 Camp Hill
5/3 Waynesboro
5/5 Bermudian Springs
5/13 - 5/14 Mid-Penn Conference Championships (at Central Dauphin)
5/20 - 5/21 District 3 Championships (at Shippensburg University)
5/27 - 5/28 PIAA State Championships (at Shippensburg University)

now, i'm not sure which of those are home or away, the schedule is kind of messed up.. haha and we all know that i'll make it to state championships.. lol i put it in there so that we could all go cheer for mary.. YAY MARY!

Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary.. pure and holy, tried and true..

Red: In the last 24 hours have you..
Cried? yes.. watching ladder 49
Hugged someone? yes
Kissed someone? yes
Lied? no
Snuck out of your house? no
Laughed really hard? haha yes
Gotten sick? no
Hung out with a friend? yep
Got your feelings hurt? yes
Been lied to? no
Orange: What Would You Do..
If you saw someone shoplift? i probably wouldn't realize what was happening
If a loved one died? cry.. and probably never stop..
If a friend lied to you? wonder why they did it..
If your boyfriend were cheating on you? wonde why they did it..
If something really embarrasing happened to you? laugh at myself.. as i usually do..
If someone insulted you? just be like, whatever..
If you found out a teacher at your school was a drug dealer? i don't know.. be like, uhh, okay..
If you found out someone in your family was stealing stuff from someone else in your family? wonder what the word 'family' means to them..
If you found out your Dad was on Viagra? umm.. that would be kinda weird..
If something really bad happened and you sliced your finger off or something else? freak out!
Yellow: Your Emotions..
Do you tend to cry a lot? haha yes.. i cry when i laugh.
Are you really emotional? i don't think so
Do you get really bad mood swings? not really
Do you tend to get annoyed easily? depends on who it is.. some people just rub me the wrong way..
What annoy's you the most? people that lie
Do your feelings get hurt easily? sometimes
If another person said something mean about you, would it matter to you what they said? yeah, if someone has a problem with me, they should tell me, not everyone else
Does it bother you if people talk crap on you? yes, see above
Does food change how you feel? no
Have you ever cut or done drugs to feel better? no
Green: Your Apperance..
Are you tall or short? tall
What color hair do you have? dirty blonde
Do/have you dyed your hair? no
What color eyes do you have? blue.. and sometimes green
Do you have glasses/contacts? glasses, but i'm too lazy to wear them
Do you want color contacts? no
Do you think you're attractive? sure
Do other people think you're attractive? you tell me
Do you wear make up? just the necessities
What color looks best on you? blue and green
Blue: Your Social Life..
What group are you in at school? GOD SQUAD!
How did you get into that clique? just being me
Is there a group you wish you were in? nope, i'm happy where i am :)
Is there a clique your clique hates? no, not really.. that would kind of counter our name
What do you normally do on the weekends? hang out with my friends and youth group
What do you normally do on school nights? homework and chill
Do you go on single dates/group dates? i'm into the group dates right now
What would you do for a first date? not dinner and a movie.. that's so unoriginal.. maybe bowling, or ice skating, or just dinner, or just something fun..
Do you go to parties? yeah
What is your "Label"? uhh, i don't think i have one
Purple: You Wish..
If you had three wish's what would they be? 1. some things would never change, 2. i had an older brother, and 3. i sometimes wish that i could die
Why would they be your wishes? 1. because i miss the way things used to be, 2. i would have someone to protect me, care for me, and someone that would always be there, and 3. so that i could see how people reacted.. to see what they really thought of me, what they would do..
If you could give your best friend anything, what would it be? a promise that i will always be there, no matter how late at night, what day, where in the world that i am..
Why would you give them that? because that's the promise i want
What is your "Dream House"? something that fits my personality
What is your "Dream Car"? a cute little car that won't give me any problems
What is your "Dream Life"? this one. i could say, "one without lies" or "one without pain" or "one without heart ache".. but that's what makes us strong, and i wouldn't want it any other way
What charateristics would your perfect husband have? he'll be a strong christian, teachable, reliable, honest, caring, thoughtful, and a man that i can't live without.. haha and he'll give good massages and love coffee
What would they look like? blond hair, blue eyes, 6'3".. haha that's my dream guy.. but if he meets the first set of standards, looks will become secondary
Where would you live? wherever
Pink: Love
What characteristics do you look for in a boyfriend? look up a few.. strong christian, teachable, reliable, honest, caring, thoughtful, and a man that i can't live without.. and he has to give good massages and love coffee
Apperance wise, what are you attracted to? eyes
How long was your longest relationship? 9 months
Who was it with? peter
Why do you think it lasted that long? it just did
Why did you guys break up? things got awkward
Who was your favorite boyfriend? hmm.. peter was a great guy, but we stopped talking when things ended.. so i'd have to say jordan, he's still a really good friend
Why was he your favorite? umm, he's brutaly honest when i need it, he's always there for me to complain (haha which i do a lot), and he's just fun.. even though he's anti-school sports :)
Whats the nicest thing the opposite sex has done/said to you? tyler promised he would never hurt me.. and he said it at a time that i needed it.. and that's stuck with me..
Who broke your heart? i don't think anyone has broken my heart.. they've dissapointed me, but guys are going to do that..

now we're joining with the angels singing, worthy is the lamb..

happy easter everyone!

the message at church was a really good one this morning. pastor dave talked about the beginning and the end of the bible and everything in between. the begininng of the bible, genesis, paints a picture of perfection and peace, shalom.. the garden of eden. that's a beautiful tree of life. the end of the bible, revelation, paints another almost identical picture of perfection and peace.. eternity. that's another beautiful tree of life. what's in between? we are. we are in between two identical perfections, two beautiful trees. the tree in the middle is the cross.. Jesus died on the middle tree, where we should have been. where we are now, we're on the middle tree. good message.

have a great day, everyone. i love you.

hey, hey you, just turn your head my way.. just once.. oh, please..

haha so kristin and i are talking to this 16 year old brazilian over the internet.. haha very interesting. he's coming to michigan in august to do a foreign exchange program, so that's cool. his name is hugo. :) hehe this is amusing.. we told him that we live in new york, and we're sophomores.. i didn't really feel like telling him where i live. hehe, funny funny.

we did our grad project hours.. i have 60.5 and kristin has 68.. yay for us! we have twice as much as we need and we still aren't done with the actual paper part of it..

ok, well sorry this is short, but we have to go pack..

WE'RE COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!

haha okay, see ya later.. love you!

-abby

"well-rounded.. as in you get around"

freaking water bottles. :

angel of music, guide and guardian, grant to me your glory..

hey everyone.. today has been one heck of a day.. probably the longest day since we've been here. we got up at 10:30 and just hung around the house until noon, when we left for the rembrandt house. we got a little lost, so we came back here, looked on the map, figured out where we were going and headed out for try #2. so we went through the museum in like 10 minutes because kristin and i aren't huge fans of rembrandt.. then we walked to the heiney and got groceries for the next day or so and we got razors, then we took them back to the house. haha okay, so kristin and i couldn't take razors on the plane, so we haven't shaved our legs since we've been here, and we just brough razors today. i have 10 days worth of hair.. it is so nasty.. ick. so then we ate lunch, left again around 3 for the market and we shopped around for about an hour. we got pat a basketball and i'm going to write 'amsterdam' in really fun letters.. yay, it'll be cool he'll like it. then we talked to this one guy that we don't know.. he's a student of kristin's aunt.. his name is zardon.. and he sent a picture to us of him and his best friend, vladimir.. holy crap! kristin and i were like, whoa! this vladimir guy is a freaking carbon copy of austin rutz.. i was like, wow, this rocks. too bad this guy lives in some far away country. i was impressed. then we met wout.. nice guy.. and we started homework, but didn't get very far. eww, homework. then we met toine at the movie theater at 7:30, and we had nachos, and we went to see miss congeniality 2.. it was really good.. haha funny funny. grace, it made me think of you haha.. then we went to this place called "the old bell" which was a bar.. and it was filled with smoke.. so we only stayed there for like, 20 minutes.. then we walked home and got ourselves some cheese pitas for dinner. i'm not liking this whole quick, fake meal things.. haha but i am liking the ben and jerry's.

ok, haha sugar cubes. :) teehee, g'night, see y'all saturday!

-ebbi

abby: i can't wait to do your brother's ball.. uhh.. i can't wait to do your brother's basketball.. uhh..
kristin: you can't wait to write on.. hmm.. you can't wait to finish my brother's gift.

I MISS YOU GABE! HAVE FUN IN CALIFORNIA!

it seems that i am thinking every thought that there may be to think all in a single day..

friend (frend)n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

brag v.
1. to talk boastfully
2. to engage in self-glorification

what makes you think that we're like that?

don't you wanna wanna, don't you want a fanta?

it's not as cracked up as it used to be.

it's not as cracked up as it should be.

it's not all it's cracked up to be.

I haven't shaved in 8 days.

-oh, the joys of flying

i'm not the one who broke you, i'm not the one you should fear..

good songs.. thanks very much to the hard rock cafe..

"wild thing"
Wild thing
You make my heart sing
You make everything
Come on, wild thing
Wild thing, I think you move me
But I gotta know for sure
Come on and hold me tight
Oh you move me
Wild thing
You make my heart sing
You make everything
Come on, wild thing
Wild thing, I think I need you
But I gotta know for sure
Come on and squeeze me tight
Oh I need it
Wild thing
You make my heart sing
You make everything
Come on, wild thing

"here is gone"
You and I got something .. But it's all then it's nothing to me .. I got my defenses .. When it comes to your intentions to me .. And we wake up in the breakdown .. In the things we never thought we could be .. I'm not the one who broke you .. I'm not the one you should fear .. We've got to move you darling .. I thought I lost you somewhere .. But you were never really ever there at all .. And I want to get free .. Talk to me .. I can fear you falling .. And I won't tempt to be .. All you need .. Somehow here is gone .. I am no solution .. To this sound of dispollution in me .. And I was not the answer .. so forget you if ever thought it was me .. I'm not the one who broke you .. I'm not the one you should fear .. We've got to move you darling .. I thought I lost you somewhere .. But you were never really ever there at all .. And I want to get free .. Talk to me .. I can fear you falling .. And I won't tempt to be .. All you need .. Somehow here is gone .. And I don't need a fall out .. Of all the past that's here between us .. And I'm not holding on .. And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here .. And I want to get free .. Talk to me .. I can fear you falling .. And I won't tempt to be .. All you need .. Somehow here is gone .. And I want to get free .. Talk to me I can fear you falling .. I know it's out there .. I can fear you falling .. I know it's out there .. Somehow here is gone .. I know it's out there .. Somehow here is gone ..

love,
abby

if i close my eyes forever, would it all remain unchanged?

so today we were up pretty early.. 7:30, yuck. that was after 5 hours of sleep because we were so scared last night. the house kept creaking near the staircase and we thought that someone was coming upstairs.. and all the other noises from outside and the next apartment.. just.. creepy. so anyway, we caught the metro to the concertgebouw, then kristin and i went to the small talk cafe while her aunt was at rehearsal. after breakfast (more panekoekens), we walked to the van gogh museum and stayed there for an hour and a half. then we walked back to the concertgebouw where we went up into the balcony and watched them rehearse for an hour and a half.. very pretty music, almost put me to sleep. not boring, very calming. it was nice. then we came back here and cleaned up a bit, then kristin and i were off the market.. very fun. lots of interesting things to be seen at markets. i got karly a pair of socks and i got some too.. they're fun. i looked fot shirts for tyler and mike, but this whole being picky thing is annoying. it's coming into spring, they don't have long sleeve shirts. i don't know what size they are either.. and shirts are rather expensive. soo, who knows what will happen there.. looked for something for gabe and emma too, but they are pretty hard to shop for. don't know what i'm going to do about that. then we were going to go on a canal ride, but i had to pee like race horse, so we decided that we were going to grab a snack at the hard rock cafe. we went inside and the guy asked us if we were just getting drinks or if we were getting food, too. i thought drinks, like, as in, sprite. sooo.. he gave us a seat near the bar.. i was like, ooohh, those kind of drinks. we got water. lol and potato skins. yummy. after that, we were still hungry, so we ordered the hunka hunka chocolate banana love. way too much chocolate. kristin liked it a little lot.. i liked the ice cream on top. then we waited for the check for half an hour, then waited another 10 minutes for them to give us change. i'm like, what the heck? go away. haha and because we were so annoyed with them, our waiter got a very lovely 20 cent tip. he didn't even deserve that much, jerk. oy, then we caught the metro back to the house.. which is where we are now.. in like, 20 minutes, auntie carol is going to get the movie, we'll do something for dinner, and just chill for the rest of the night.

I HEART ANGELO AND HIS KICK BUTT COOKIES! :) 100 cookies go a long way.

tomorrow, museums, concertgebouw, vout, canals, and movie with toine. yay, fun day!

Baby i get so scared inside and i don't really understand
is it love that is on my mind or is it fantasy
Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and its waiting here for you
what am i supposed to do with a child of prejudy

If i close my eyes forever
would it all remain unchanged
if i close my eyes forever
would it all remain the same

Sometimes its hard to hold on so hard to hold on to all my dreams
its not always what it seems when your face to face to me
like a dagger you stick me in the heart or taste the blood from my blade
and when we're asleep would you shelter me in your warm and dark grave

If i close my eyes forever
would it all remain unchanged
if i close my eyes forever
would it all remain the same

Will you ever take meno i just can't take the pain
would you ever trust me
no i'll never feel the same
I know i've been so hard on you
i know i've told you lies
if i could have just one more wish
i would wipe the cobwebs from my eyes

If i close my eyes forever
would it all remain unchanged
if i close my eyes forever would it all remain the same

Oh yeah
Close your eyes
Close your eyes you gotta close your eyes for me..

so hold me while i'm here, love me when i'm gone..

hehe funny stories from today.. first, we didn't have to move our bodies until 2 in the afternoon, but we were up at 11:30. we had, uhh, everything for breakfast. first, we had strawberry yogurt with pieces of bananas in it. since there was only a little of that left, we heated up chicken fried rice from 2 nights ago. yes, we had chinese for breakfast. after we ate that, we were still hungry, so we heated up fried noodles, also from 2 nights ago. more chinese. as if that weren't enough, i cut up an anana and we ate the whole freaking thing. what a hearty breakfast. then about 10 minutes later, we each ate a kinder egg. after that, we finished off the can of stale pringles. and after eating all of that food, i lost .4 kilograms. hahaha, i find that highly amusing. i can eat 10 pounds of breakfast and still lose weight. schwing. lunch, we kind of skipped, considering when we finished eating breakfast it was 1 in the afternoon. so then we went to the market and got ourselves photo albums that totally rock. we got kendra, rachel, lindsay, and renea something while we were there too. we walked around for a while, saw a few unnecessary things :( and then went to the anne frank house and wandered around there for a bit.. when we were done there, we went to the hard rock cafe. it was the first place that we've been since we got here that had english menus and american food.. it totally rocked. i got a burger, kristin got a bacon cheeseburger, and her aunt got nachos.. very yummy. then we got cheesecake to finish off the evening.. mmm, it was very yummy. we decided that we would pay, but came up 3 euros short. oops. lol so we asked her aunt if we could borrow 3 euros, then we paid her back when we got some more checks cashed.. then we walked home and we've been chilling ever since then. the plan for the next few days: tomorrow, museums in the morning, and we're renting miss congeniality to watch at night. thursday, whatever in the morning, maybe more markets, then at 3 vout is coming over for his lesson with auntie carol (schwing! vout is an 18 year-old guy that plays the bass.. he's supposed to be really sweet and charming.. yay for that).. then toine is coming over and we're going to see miss congeniality 2 in the theatre that totally rocks.. it's a really old and looks like a haunted house on the outside but it's really pretty and elegant on the inside.. i can't wait. they have real seats too, like plush seats.. in a movie theatre.. so much better than ours, not even a comparison. that will rock.. friday night, the plan is still to go to the disco, but that all depends on uncle nasser.. and the bouncer. but whatever happens, it'll be fun. alright, well it's midnight here and we have to get up at like, 7:30 tomorrow morning, so i will talk to you all later.

all my love,
abby, ebbi, and emmy (hehe)

red, yellow, green, red, blue, blue, blue, mauve, chartreuse, and aqua..

hey guys.. i had this all typed in here then aunt carol came and shut the computer off, so i'm rewriting it all. today, we went to zaanse schans and got to walk up into the mill.. it was really loud. then we walked out onto the deck and got our pictures taken. after that, we had lunch and we ate panekoekens.. yummy. then we went to muiderslot, a pretty cool castle around town. kristin and i talked about what we would do with it after we won the lottery and bought it. we then went back to henk and adri's for tea (hehe) and left again for naarden. it was a cute, old town surrounded by an old moat. very nifty. after that, we went and picked up marieke and went out for dinner. the only bad part about was that the dishes were in greek and the descriptions were in dutch.. we were like, uhh. what?! it was "highly amusing" and henk and adri had to order for us. then we got home around 8:45 and ate dinner #2, chinese food. haha then we finished off with dinner #3, pringle's and kinder uberchungs and juice. oh man, we never stop eating. so here we are, 12:06 am, and kristin is getting tired. we don't have to move our bodies until 2 in the afternoon.. so we can sleep for a while because today was a rather long day. maybe the markets tomorrow afternoon?

abby: what if we get into the wrong car? what if we get into the car with all the slugs?!
kristin: umm, thugs?

henk: cookie duff.

abby: so angelo was taking a picture and he said "there is a photographer that lives in the apartment beneath mine and he taught me the key to a perfect picture: smile and say S#@*!"
kristin: abby! abby! abby! abby! abby!
mom: is she sneezing? god bless you!

abby: ..because egg is more fun to say than uberchung!
kristin: uberchung, egg. uberchung, egg. uberchung, egg. mm, yeah, i see your point.
--dripping with sarcasm--

abby: i wonder if you can see the castle from here
kristin: uhh, yeah, it's right there
abby: oh, i thought that was a church..
*five minutes later*
kristin: where did the castle go? isn't that it?
henk: uhh, no, that would be the church..
abby: haha, i so called that.

abby: i don't wear a push up bra!
kristin: uhh, obviously.

--kristin and i are surrounded by a room full of dutch speaking people--
kristin: what are we going to do if marieke comes to visit us this summer? hire a translator or learn dutch by then?
abby: or we could talk to her using signs.. ba-nan-a (peels banana in air).. shower (opens and closes hand above head).. fire (goes kaboom with hands)..
kristin: or we could use the dutch that we know..
abby: ok, ja, nay, speck, kaas, slaap lekker, and ananas (yes, no, bacon, cheese, sweet dreams and pineapple).
kristin: ananas.. *imagines scene.. marieke rambles something about wanting to go on a walk.. we say: ok, we get you ananas!*
abby: oh, this can't be good.
kristin: oh, but highly amusing.

henk: G...... Japanese.

--ok, so aunt carol was supposed to get home at 11 tonight, and we had to unlock the door for her--
11:07=the doorbell rang and kristin and i jumped, scared to death over the freaking doorbell.. so i go down 3 sets of stairs to unlock the door. so i open the door and it's pitch black and no one is there.. but somebody rang the doorbell.. which, i thought it was aunt carol. so no one was there so i tried to shut the door, but it didn't shut, so i ran back up 2 sets of stairs screaming KRISTIN! KRISTIN! kristin comes running down the stairs and was like, what? i told her that someone rang the doorbell and i opened it but no one was there, but i didn't shut the door. she's like, good, the door is hanging wide open, and some crazy killer would be courteous enough to ring the doorbell again to wait for you to go answer it. don't think so. soo.. we creeped down the rest of the 1st set of stairs and heard "hello girls".. so it was auntie carol anyway. we just freaked out over nothing. go figure. by the way, the doorbell is at the very very very bottom of the stairs (not 3 sets lower, but FIVE sets lower).. we know for next time not to freak out. :)

Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue
Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red
Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue
Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red
Blend them up and what do you get?
Ceries, chartreuse, and aqua
Mauve, beige, and ultra marine, and every colour in between
Hazo ka li ka no cha lum bum
Colour has it's harmony and just like I have said
Red, yellow, green, red, blue blue blue
Red, purple, green, yellow, orange, red red
Blend them all and what do you get?
Ceries, chartreuse, and aqua
Mauve, beige, and ultra marine, and every colour in between
Ing za ri ka fo zi brun brun
Colour has it's harmony and just as I have said
Red, yellow, green, red, blue, pink, grey
And white, and plaid and blue, green, white, yellow and toodinz 'n' and and and right and and strips with blue and a black and Plaid and a....aoo and ...vut vut, vait a second, vut vut's going on wid all da colours?
Blue, red, green, green, white, white, black....vut ever happened to just plain old lavender blue dilly dilly dilly dilly.......dilly....silly

--haha for my lindsay and autumn--

i heart you all..
abby

it's the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities of life..

hey guys.. just writing about what we did today.. we went to volendam and marken.. two more fishing villages that were very fun. the first one we went to was marken, we rode the bus up there.. we grabbed a bite to eat.. kristin and i got sandwiches with eggs and cheese and i got ham with mine, too. then we took the ferry over to volendam and got our pictures taken in traditional dutch outfits.. they are sooo funny! i'll show them to you all when i get home. i mean, come on, what's not funny about me in wooden clogs, a tall paper hat, poofy striped skirt, an apron, and a shoulder-padded top?

so i've decided that europeans are really very amusing. well, their english is anyway. they are constantly mixing things up, and i can't help but laugh.. and the people here are just interesting all around.

me: party pooper
angelo: what mean that? spoiler, i assume.

toine: welcome in amsterdam.
aunt carol: to
toine: *lowers head as if ashamed* to

hank: if they don't laugh on my english, i am going to speak dutch.
**ahh, the dreaded dutch**

uncle nasser: oooooooooooooooooooo-k, we can do that.

aunt carol: so, define dating..
*abby and kristin start rambling on about nonsense..*
aunt carol: i don't understand..
*abby and kristin continue to ramble on about nonsense..*
aunt carol: ok, so i think i get it. seeing people is no physical contact, except hugs, which can only last 5 seconds. and you can see more than one person.. test them out. dating is..
kristin: when you pick one and dump the rest of them!
aunt carol: and you can make out?
kristin: whatever you do from that point is none of my business.
aunt carol: oh so that's why you take different people to different ice cream parlors.
abby: man, it would be interesting to be your daughter.
aunt carol: if you guys were my daughters, i would insist that you dated more than one person. it makes you a more well-rounded person.
*abby and kristin crack up.. and are repulsed at the same time*

--10 minutes later--
*abby is on the phone with her dad, talking about ski trip*
kristin: (to aunt carol) her parents went on a ski trip and she wanted to go
aunt carol: (staring straight at kristin, nods her head. a second later says..) what? i totally spaced out?
kristin: her parents went on a ski trip and she wanted to go
aunt carol: what? her pants went on a ski trip and didn't take her with them?
*abby rambles something about greg hamm*
kristin: (to aunt carol) her next door neighbor went on the trip too
aunt carol: she gave her pants to some guy to go skiing?
kristin: her next door neighbor is, like, 11
aunt carol: that's even more perverse! she won't date more than one guy at a time, but she'll give her pants to an 11-year-old.

ok, well early day tomorrow.. have to be out of here by 10:30, so it's time to hit the hay.. see you all in a week!

all my love,
abby

burn. baby burn

hey guys.. how are you all? still doing great on this side of the planet. today we spent the day in brussels. we had a blast.. and spent a lot of money.. too much, if i do say so myself. a combined total of $172 on gifts for everyone.. and we spent $13 on ourselves.. you guys should feel very loved. because you are all very expensive people. but it was fun.. we got to pick out fun stuff for everyone. we got lauren, sarah, and courtney the same thing. we got tori and meredith the same thing. we got brianne and erin the same thing. we got grace something. we got emily and lindsay kind of the same thing. we got erin and tara something. we got castles something.. hehe funny. we know what we're getting rachel, jestine, and the rest of the guys there stuff tomorrow or something. i still have to get kendra, tyler, mike, courtney, mandy and aaron, kaila, tyler, dad and sarah, mom, claude, and pappy something. wow, that's a long list. you guys are all going to break me. kristin, on the other hand, has a very small family (a southern faja, a northern maja, and.. the boy).. psh. my immediate family is dad, sarah, evan, tyler, and my mom. that's just immediate family. so you all will have more from this trip than we will.

so kristin and i have this ongoing spit tournament.. she's beating me.. 9-6. uh oh. we will have to play again tonight so that i can catch up. we seem to be into the late nights lately.. minor jet lag that's been sticking around. it has gotten to be rather comforting.. like we're home.. hmph, i miss home.

me: *looks at kristin's bracelet* who wears bracelets with sweatshirts? *looks at own wrist* oh, i do.
kristin: that's a double standard.
me: uhh, abby english?
kristin: freakin loser.


To my surprise one hundred stories high
People getting loose now, getting down on the roof
Folks screaming, out of control
It was so entertaining when the boogie started to explode
I heard somebody say
(burn baby burn) disco inferno
(burn baby burn) burn that mother down
(burn baby burn) disco inferno
(burn baby burn) burn that mother down
Satisfaction came in a chain reaction
I couldn’t get enough, so I had to self-destruct
The heat was on, rising to the top
Everybody is going strong, and that is when my spark got hot
I heard somebody say
(burn baby burn) disco inferno
(burn baby burn) burn that mother down
(burn baby burn) disco inferno
(burn baby burn) burn that mother down
Up above my head
I hear music in the air
That makes me know
There’s a party somewhere
(just can’t stop) when my spark gets hot
(just can’t stop) when my spark gets hot

disco club friday night. yeah, baby.

just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore..

how is everyone back in the states? wow, it's so weird to say that, but i'm definitely having a blast. we went to enzhausen today, which is a fishing village on the coast.. everything was fish, and i'm not a huge fan of fish (except I LOVE CRAB AND LOBSTER!) so it was kind of funny.. we made chicken alfredo with little bacon pieces in it.. very yummy. and we got a french baguette, which totally rocked, because i've never really had a REAL FRENCH baguette.. very cool. tomorrow morning, we have to wake up at the crack of dawn to catch the train to brussels.. 8:30. we're meeting up with jamie for lunch when we get there. we'll spend all day there and i'm going to try to get lace for my mom and maybe sarah.. that would be cool.. kristin is getting some for her mom too. so that's the plan.. can't wait till sunday. ;) thanks, ang.

good song that we heard today, while eating ham and cheese pancakes, in a dutch restaurant.. funny.

first i was afraid
i was petrified
kept thinking i could never live
without you by my side
but i spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
i grew strong
i learrned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
i just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
i should have changed the stupid lock
i should have made you leave your key
if i had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
go on now go, walk out the door
just turn around now
cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think i'd crumble
you think i'd lay down and die
oh no, not i
i will survive
as long as i know how to love
i know i will stay alive
i've got all my life to live
i've got all my love to give
and i'll survive
i will survive
it took all the strength i had
not to fall apart
keep trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heard
and i spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
i used to cry
now i hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
i'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now i'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

hey, hey baby..

hello all.. how is life back in the states? haha here, half way across the world, it's great. most of you are either at track, soccer, softball, or baseball.. and it's 10 at night. that's funny. haven't quite become accustomed to the time change yet. oh, we're having fun. we went to one of the markets today.. it was fun. everything was really cool and not expensive, which is cool when you're buying gifts for half of boiling springs lol.. we got autumn something today.. and i got evan a shirt.. we found something that we want to get grace, rachel, and tori, but we didn't yet.. we're going to go back some other day when we have more time. so these are our plans for our trip:

tomorrow -- (am) rembrandt museum, (pm) fishing villages on the coast
saturday -- brussels, belgium
sunday -- annefrankhuis and waterworks with leo
monday -- zaanse schans (wind mills) with hank and audrey
tuesday -- small talk cafe, van gogh musuem and the stedelijk museum
wednesday, thursday, and friday -- kristin and i get to roam around amsterdam while her aunt is working :) yesss..
saturday -- home, sweet home.

*sometime within the next 8 days, we will also be eating some kick butt strawberry cheesecake, going on the canals, and to the royal palace

should be fun. we could have gone to paris, but it's a 5 hour train ride, so that would leave us no time to do anything in the city. i was dissapointed, but it's understandable. i wanted to go to frankfurt and to the Neuschwanstein castle, but they are also rather far away.. we'll save that for my senior gift. :)

alright, we're heading to the market down the street for some late-night snacks.. i'll see you all later..

i love you!
xoxo .. abby

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder..

hey!!! we made it alive and all in one piece! it's great, the weather is absolutely wonderful.. it's so warm and beautiful and i love it. we're having so much fun! we got dutch ben and jerry's (except it's exactly the same thing) and i even found kindereggs! THIS IS SO EXCITING! we went out today and wondered around the markets and found some cool stuff.. aunt carol got a hanging chair that kristin and i tested out.. for a long time.. in the store.. we just hung there. it rocked. so then we walked through the flower gardens and looked at all the pretty tulips.. even the wooden ones haha.. i found some stuff that i want to get tyler.. and what i want to get my grandpa and my parents.. and some trinkets for everyone too. i'm so excited, but i miss everyone. :( definitely feeling a little bit homesick, but i'll be alright. okay, well it's 11:30 here (5:30 there) with jet lag on top of it, i'm exhausted. talk to you all later

slaap lekker. (sweet dreams.)

isn't she lovely? isn't she wonderful?

hey guys! wow, i am so excited, you don't have the slightest clue. i leave in 2 hours. 2 HOURS! ahh, and it's such a great feeling. here's a note to everyone while i'm gone.

erin--thank you for mon livre de notes! haha i heart you so much.. don't let tyler pick your nose too much, it's kind of weird. i love you, forever and ever and ever. :* we were destined to be friends forever, my sweet rooster.

lindsay--ahhh, what will i do for 10 days without stories?!? i may just fall over and DIE. you've got a lot to tell me when i get back, i heart you, dq! never change and kick some softball butt! ps.. if you see tyler and tasha, kill her for me. :)

grace--just because i have estrogen doesn't mean i can throw a ball! err, not throw a ball! err, WHATEVER! i heart you, have fun in gym class. kick some butt in lacrosse.. and use that estrogen and show mike up, you can do it! i heart you and i'll see you when i get back!

mere--sorry if you're still mad at me, i don't really know, but i know what i want to get you over there and i'll see you when i get back! if you talk to aaron, tell him i hope he's feeling better!

emily--i love you with all of my heart. you know that i am ALWAYS here for you to talk to.. my email should be working over there, so if you need anything or anyone to talk to, please write me. i'm here for you, forever. :* you're the best.

emma--hey love, enjoy jordan while i'm gone. ;)

breanne--just wait till i get back, tyler is ALL mine. have fun while i'm gone.

kaila--what state is that in? haha loser.. have fun at youth on sunday ;) try not to get past 10.. although it's hard. i got 10 last week. haha when i get back, let's go out like we talked about okay?

kristin--WOOHOO WE ARE OUTTA HERE!

rachel and brianne--happy tracking! :) good luck at the scrimmage ladies, let me know if you made the team! kick some butt!

tyler--i love you!

gabe--3 weeks?! what shall i do without you? :( haha have fun in california!

autumn--who have YOU been kissing?! (isn't that a country song.. or something like it.. "who's bed have your boots been under? who's heart did you steal, i wonder? this time it feels like thunder baby" excuse the words, i was going off memory). need a new supply of code red? wow, i wonder if they have DUTCH code red?!

kendra--i miss you already! and you better still be here when i get back!

-bo--dash before.. amsterdam is right above texas.. you keep believin' it.

jestine--your boyfriend is brilliant and beautiful. :-D haha i heart you!

dan--my part time lover.

courtney--corky! i miss you! i'll see you the morning of the 30th!

ok, there are more people, but i have to finish packing, so i'll see you all when i get back. i love you!

Child, don't you worry
It's enough your growing up in such a hurry
Brings you down, the news they sell ya
To put in your mind that all mankind is a failure

But nobody knows
What's gonna happen tomorrow
We try not to show
How frightened we are

If you love me, I'll protect you
However I can
You've got to believe
It'll be alright in the end

Fighting because we're so close
There are times we punish those who we need the most
Though we can't wait for a saviour
Only got ourselves to blame for this behaviour

And nobody knows
What's gonna happen tomorrow
We try not to show
How frightened we are

Would seem lonely
If you were the only star in the night?

You've got to believe
It'll be alright in the end
You've got to believe
It'll be alright again

Time is a ribbon, a silent icy river (froze us all)
Running deep, deep and fast
Enough to get lost down in the flow
Crashing around

These tiny lives mean everything
And nobody knows
What's gonna happen tomorrow
So don't let go

Now we've come this far
Hold my hand please
Understand me
You're never alone

We've got to believe
It'll be alright in the end
You've got to believe
It'll be alright my friend
It'll be alright again

you're a little late, i'm already torn

Your name is... abby
Your kiss is... erotic
Your hugs are... to die for
Your eyes... sparkle like the stars
Your touch is... awakening my heart
Your smell is... exotic
Your smile is... encouraging
Your love is... eternal

oww, so sore. track is killing me.. no joke, i feel like i could fall over and die. yesterday, all we did were plyometrics and stairs. ouch. painful. today, my legs aren't wanting to move. so last night was awesome.. we went to applebee's, but the wait was 50 minutes.. we're like, uhh, no. we went to say hi to everyone and totally got the cold shoulder without good reason. ok, one thing to say, get over it. i'm so sick and tired of people getting upset over stupid things. i love you all, but seriously, it was a litle get together.. 4 people were invited, but one couldn't come. it's not like i invited all of pennsylvania except for you. she's moving.. we picked each others "dates" for the night.. FOUR PEOPLE. now how does that give you the right to be upset? it doesn't. like i said, get over it, your world won't end. sorry, had to be honest. but we had fun. "don't we have to order first?" "erin, it's a buffet." and "although you may feel like a rooster.." fun fun. "erin lehman please come to the front of walmart" "I'M BEING FOLLOWED BY FOUR GUYS IN DOORAGS!" oh, fun. so today i'm watching evan till 3.. then who knows what will happen.. ok, well i gotta go, i'll see y'all later.

Don't you wish we tried?
Do you feel what I feel inside?
You know our love is stronger than pride
No, don't let your anger grow
Just tell me what you need me to know
Please talk to me, don't close the door
'cause I wanna hear you
I wanna be near you
Don't fight, don't argue
Give me the chance to say that I'm sorry
Just let me love you
Don't turn me away
Don't tell me to go
Don't give up on trust
Don't give up on me, on us
If we could just hold on long enough
we can do it
We'll get through it
Don't fight, don't argue
Just give me the chance to say that I'm sorry
Just let me love you
Don't turn me away, don't tell me to go
Don't pretend that it's okay
Things won't get better that way
Don't do something you might regret someday...
Don't give up on me
We can do it
We'll get through it
Don't fight, don't argue
Just give me the chance to say that I'm sorry
Just let me love you
Don't turn me away, don't tell me to go
Don't fight, don't argue
Don't give up on me
Give me the chance to say that I'm sorry
Say that that I'm sorry
Just let me love you
Don't give up on me
Don't turn me away
Don't tell me to go
Don't fight, don't argue
Don't give up on me
Give me the chance to say that I'm sorry
Say that that I'm sorry
Just let me love you
Don't give up on me
Don't turn me away
Don't tell me to go..

love will find a way..

today was a long day. this morning i was so incredibly sore, you can’t even imagine. but i was happy too.. because i leave in 5 days and get my braces off in 45 days. schwing. when we go to amsterdam, we’re gonna go to czechoslovakia and to germany if her aunt can find a car. schwing again. i so can’t wait, i need to start packing.. and i need to go shopping and make sure that i have everything that i am going to need. so practice today was long. we went outside and sprinted 100 then jogged back.. and sprinted that 100 8 times. we did lunges for 200. sprints for another 200. then we finished with an 800 of fartlickers (such a lovely name, huh?) and then a 200 jog. we stretched in the gym and while we were stretching, i talked to aj and pat. haha "it’s all about the confidence girl, you can work it. just be like, ‘hey, sexy, i want you’re body, you need a real woman.’ it’s easy, go for it." haha that was hilarious. uhh, or not, aj. and don’t worry, Saturday practices don’t start until NEXT week, so you can still party Friday night with austin. wouldn’t want you to miss out on that, now would we? so one more day and semaine nombre un est fini. i can’t wait. it’s been a long week and because it’s so cold and they have us running outside, everyone is super sore.. more than we should be. but hey, it’s the price we gotta pay. not sure about the whole track situation, but today harker said that he would only be cutting people if they didn’t put in an effort and if they had attitude, which i am and i don’t. soo, i really hope that this trip will be a problem. because that will suck, it really will. i want to go so badly, but it’s track.. i’ll stay in shape, i get to hang out with some awesome people, and it’s so much fun.. i just hope that everything works out alright.

so this weekend will be fun. Friday night me and kendra and maybe some others are going to applebee’s.. then Saturday i think i’m going to the movies, but i’m not sure what we’re seeing yet.. fun, fun, can’t wait.
i heart you all, see ya later.

xoxo .. cheesecake

i found i'm scared to know that i'm always on your mind..

Wouldn't life be *perfect* if..
Sweatpants were sexy
Monday mornings were fun
Junk food was healthy for you
Friends didn't cause drama
Guys weren't as confusing
Nothing was regrettable
and "Goodbyes" only meant until tomorrow.

stolen from my good friend, emma. so today was rough. we timed 400s in 30 degree weather.. then ran 100, 200, 300, 400, 300, 200, 100 pyramids.. ahh.. but i got out of some of it because courtney had an asthma attack and almost passed out in my arms like, six times! i was like, wahh! so then we went back inside and did those freaking plyometrics.. ouch. my legs will kill tomorrow. and i have gym first thing in the morning. oh, and i told harker about my trip today.. he's like, "that's not good." i'm like, you moron, duh it's not good. but i have my ticket and that's my grad project, i'm getting it done a year early. unless you want me to send it back and replan everything, i'm leaving for ten days. and if that trip costs me a spot on the team, there's something wrong. so i'm not as good as anna, but i'm not horrible, sorry for being proud of myself for working hard last year and this year. i've done everything in practice to my best ability and if this trip holds me back, there's something wrong with harker. honestly. so these next few weeks will be interesting.

pat: did you tell him yet?
me: not yet.. i will in a bit.
pat: procrastinator.
*at the end of practice after i told harker*
me: he said it wasn't good.
pat: what wasn't good? your running or the trip?
me: shut up.

*pat is walking back and forth trying to unlock the car.. looks over and sees HIS car*
me: did you honestly just try to unlock the wrong car?
pat: ya know what..

aaron: you're going to where?!
me: amsterdam.. leaving tuesday.
aaron: if i give you money do you want to bring some uhh.. you know.. back for me?
me: yeah i'll get right on that.
aaron: you can't deny this handsomeness.

fun times in track season. i heart track. it makes me feel so good. :) so warm and fuzzy (and very sore) inside..

see y'all tomorrow. i heart you!

ps: i beat tyler for his girlfriend AND the princesses.. schwing.

whoa, life is way to short, live it the way you want..

haha today kicked butt. practice was 3 hours long. the first 2.5 hours we spent stretching and being tested.. push ups, sit ups, broad jump, vertical jump, height, weight, body fat *yeah, that wasn't weird having widder slide your pants down.. eww* so then the sprinters had to run down the pool steps, then back up, across the pool deck, down the other stairs, through the hall, and back up and down the steps.. 8 times. then we had a choice of running 2 more sets of stairs or just run figure 8's for half an hour.. so, me, trish, brianne, rachel started running.. then me and tara dowling ran with austin rutz and aaron alt.. that's right.. and we owned. beat them, yes, we beat them. oh, it was a good day.

i love you all.. see ya tomorrow. :)

hold on loosely, but don't let go..

wow, i never realized how much hurt pushes you. seriously, think about it. with everything that's on my mind lately, i kicked butt in track. well, the little that we did. haha today was so freakin' easy, i couldn't believe it. we ran the cooper and got timed in our 40 yd.. that's it! i was like, hmm, alright, no complaints here. 45 minutes we stretched.. aww, poor guy sprained his ankle skipping. :( and 45 minutes on the code of conduct. wow, that made me happy.. then i went to dick's and got a pink bag to match my pink spikes. :-D my new color is pink. haha alright, i love this line, so i'm putting it in here..

here's to every man looking out for every girl.. you are the god and the weight of her world.

to you guys that happen to stumble across this in your daily mundane searches.. you don't know how important you are to us. we need you to protect us, we need your friendship, your help, and we need you just to be there for us, 24/7, whenever we need it.. even if it means 2 am. we need you. we need to know that we have someone that will always be there for us to fall back on, someone that cares for you no matter what the circumstances are. we look up to you, we want your approval, we want you to be like our brothers.. that pick on us, but stick up for us without a second thought.. because they love us. for those guys in my life, i appreciate it. thanks. i’m lucky to have you.

i get knocked down, but i get up again, you never gonna keep me down.

so after reading lindsay and grace's things for the past week, i've come to a conclusion. i suck. haha honestly, i'm not good at sports, like lindsay. i'm not super smart, like all my friends in super super honors. i'm not pretty. i'm not thin. i can't sing for my life. i'm really rather boring. my family is nowhere near normal.* so, tell me, what is it that keeps you all around?

*i went to visit josh when i was in maryland. saw a huge cut on his arm and one from his eye to his ear. and you'll never guess what it was from. he was stabbed. my cousin was stabbed. in a drug deal. this is the guy that i looked up to ever since i was born. he was the one that told me when i was little, "goob, i love you. i'll never hurt you. on your wedding day, save a dance for me." now, chances are, he won't even be at my wedding, he'll be in jail. if he hadn't been caught, he'd be dead. and the reality of that.. it's scary. no one can relate to this and no one knows how much it hurts. it's like a fresh wound, ya know. josh, i love him. as much trouble as he gets into, i will always love him. he's family. but stabbed.. twice.. in a drug deal. that's not the way that he is. it makes me wonder how people can tell me that drugs don't do anything to mess with you mind. bull crap they don't. this guy, graduated high school 10th in his class, was stabbed in a drug deal gone wrong. can you honestly tell me they don't do anything to you? josh, i miss you. i really do.

with my head in my hands, i sit and cry..

9 days.

nine days until i leave. nine days until i can fly away from everything. nine days until i experience the coolest thing in my life. nine days until i don't have to worry about what's happening here. i can just go, and have a blast, and not one thought has to cross my mind about anything that i don't want it to. when i get there, it's a whole new world for me. they speak dutch, which means i will most likely get lost at least 4 times. i can't wait. if any of you guys want anything, let me know, i'll bring it back for you.

amsterdam.

hush, hush, darling..

good afternoon, everyone. last night was funny.. went to see the play again. it was even worse than it was thursday night. there was one scene where albert and rose were waiting for mama and the tap-dancer to come out.. but mama couldn't find her purse, and she was talking backstage and her mic was on.. haha "I can't find my fricking handbag!" everyone was forgetting lines.. oh, i was amused. haha church this morning, sat with brett. he's a funny kid.

je n'ai pas une personne du jour tourjours, mais j'ai une personne pour demain. voici ma chanson du jour. don't speak by no doubt. it fits reality.

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together, always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well, I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are
You and me
I can see us dying.. are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak, don't speak, don't speak
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
Hush, hush, darlin'
Hush, hush, darlin'
Hush, hush, don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

i always live in tomorrow, you live in today..

you'll always be inside my thoughts
because I can keep life perfect there, the way it could have been
if this life is a game, then i wonder if we could ever win
i don't understand a thing you said, sometimes you seem so far away from me
i always live in tomorrow, you live in today
but you found your way inside my world
and it seems you're there to stay
we both sat down and then we made a wish
and I looked at you, you looked at me
and then I said good-bye
we both sat down and made a wish
and I looked at you, you looked at me
your eyes said more than you know
we both sat down and then we made a wish
and I looked at you, you looked at me
my wish just didn't come true

you'll always be inside my thoughts..

hey guys.. last night i was supposed to go see the play again, but my mom surprised me and took me to the hagerstown outlets to shop. :) so when were done, we stopped in on my grandma and hung out there for a while.. me and brit talked, it was cool. this morning, i went back to the mall, got PINK SPIKES, which totally rock my world, and looked for an easter dress, but couldn't find one. :( but YAY FOR THE SPIKES! they are super cool.. so anissa gave me this thing for express and sarah and i are gonna go back some time next week. tonight, sarah and i are going to the cafe, then to see the play.. very cool. i'm excited. tomorrow, church. youth group, too, i think, but i think i'll pass this week. last week was stressful enough, so i'm just gonna lie low for a while.

so today's person of importance is (drum roll, please).. meredith gross. we have so much in common, (the biggest thing: "the more i go through this with him, the more i like dogs." that comment so totally applies to both of us. this song we both live..

i have no concept
of why you left because
you failed to show
what was on your mind
and now

every time the phone rings
i wonder if you're calling me
to say you're coming back again
but i'm still waiting

i know i acted
cold when you said goodbye
i didn't know how
i could say
goodbye to you

and every time the phone rings
i wonder if you're calling me
to say you're coming back again
but i'm still waiting

and.. "I looked into your eyes and faced my deepest fear." ay que cosas. what are we ever going to do? what is it that we are attracted to, meredith? something like.. hmm, lies, heartbreak, or just something we can't have. but you have to admit, when you look back on it all, it's been fun. you and me and those two freaking morons. :) i heart you, mere.

you'll always be the one I know I'll .|.never.|. forget..

haha tonight rocked my world.. went to see the play. grace and i sprinted before the show started.. woohoo, i can tell that track season will be fun. who loves running? me, grace, and autumn do in gym class! haha we're such losers. so, we saw the show.. yay emily, erin, and louie! haha awesome job, ladies. lindsay and i talked the entire time.. we were laughing at ourselves. "we make me laugh." -lindsay.. yeah, we had fun. ok, so today's person is (drum roll please).. GRACIE LOU FREEBUSH! fracie and i have been friends since 7th grade but this we got super close. i mean, you will get close with a person if you jump off the top of the eiffel tower with them and land in a truckapella.. those freaking truckapellas have a tendency to do that. :) haha and in graphic arts class.. hoe #2.. because we all know that grace can be such a little slut (haha yeah right.. who was the one in the playboy shirt? not her.) so she wrote this song in my assignment book one day as her favorite song, so here it is. i heart you, fracie. (warning: on her 100th birthday, grace plans to blow her candles out, but with much dismay, her hair will catch on fire, killing her. may she rest in peace.) here's to my fashionista..

Grew up in a small town.. And when the rain would fall down.. I just stared out my window.. Dreaming of what could be.. And if I'd end up happy.. I would pray.. I would pray.. Trying hard to reach out.. But when I'd try to speak out.. Felt like no one could hear me.. Wanted to belong here.. But something felt so wrong here.. So I pray.. I would pray.. I could breakaway.. I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.. I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky.. And I'll make a wish.. Take a chance.. Make a change.. And breakaway.. Out of the darkness and into the sun.. But I won't forget all the ones that I loved.. I'll take a risk.. Take a chance.. Make a change.. And breakaway.. Wanna feel the warm breeze.. Sleep under a palm tree.. Feel the rush of the ocean.. Get onboard a fast train.. Travel on a jet plane, far away.. I will.. And breakaway.. Buildings with a hundred floors.. Swinging around revolving doors.. Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but.. Gotta keep moving on, moving on.. Fly away, breakaway.. I'll spread my wings.. And I'll learn how to fly.. Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye.. I gotta make a wish.. Take a chance.. Make a change.. And breakaway.. Out of the darkness and into the sun.. But I won't forget the place I come from.. I gotta take a risk.. Take a chance.. Make a change.. And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

ok, not a whole lot of interesting stuff happened today.. we had hubert for photo, which was weird.. she had no idea what she was doing, but she let me do whatever because i play hockey. :) haha, then english.. snooze, as usual. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDY! then kristin and i swam laps today in resource. eww, the old ladies! there was a water aerobics class in the pool.. and we were all in the locker room at once and they had no problem stripping down to nude in front of us.. and all the flappy.. wrinkles.. *shudders* ugh, it was nasty. they don't wear undergarments. eww. yuck, gross, bad memories. then geometry.. i beat tyler. :-D that so rocked my world. who knew.. it was between me and tyler. whoever won between us won the game. i won. i am the queen, i've beat him in everything except strength, but i'm a girl, so it's acceptable. then french, holy crap, gabe stepped on me. i thought i was going to die. do you all understand how heavy he is? i seriously thought he cracked my hip.. it was rather painful.. and he laughed at me. psh, feel the love. alright, well, i'm pretty tired, so i'm gonna hit the sack.. g'night all.

x's and o's .. cheesecake <3

do you remember when we used to dance?

hey y'all (cuuuntry). this entry is dedicating to my good friend, lindsay darchicourt. wow, lindsay, yours is the easiest because our whole friendship is based on songs lol. so, i'm going to put in a few, not just one. here's to hockey, homecoming, and aladdin.

Why do you build me up.. Buttercup, baby.. Just to let me down.. and mess me around.. And then worst of all.. you never call, baby.. When you say you will.. but I love you still I need you.. more than anyone, darlin'.. You know that I have from the start.. So build me up.. Buttercup, don't break my heart.. "I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again.. But you're late, I wait around and then I went to the door, I can't take any more.. It's not you, you let me down again.. Baby, baby, try to find.. A little time and I'll make you mine.. I'll be home.. I'll be beside the phone waiting for you.. Why do you build me up.. Buttercup, baby Just to let me down.. and mess me around.. And then worst of all.. you never call, baby.. When you say you will.. but I love you still.. I need you.. more than anyone, darlin'.. You know that I have from the start.. So build me up.. Buttercup, don't break my heart.. You were my toy but I could be the boy you adore.. If you'd just let me know.. Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you all the more.. Why do I need you so.. Baby, baby, try to find.. A little time and I'll make you mine.. I'll be home.. I'll be beside the phone waiting for you.. Why do you build me up.. Buttercup, baby.. Just to let me down.. and mess me around.. And then worst of all.. you never call, baby.. When you say you will.. but I love you still I need you.. more than anyone, darlin'.. You know that I have from the start.. So build me up.. Buttercup, don't break my heart.. I need you, more than anyone, baby.. You know that I have from the start.. So build me up.. Buttercup, don't break my heart

I can show you the world.. Shining, shimmering, splendid.. Tell me, princess, now when did.. You last let your heart decide?.. I can open your eyes.. Take you wonder by wonder.. Over, sideways and under.. On a magic carpet ride.. A whole new world.. A new fantastic point of view.. No one to tell us no.. Or where to go.. Or say we're only dreaming.. A whole new world.. A dazzling place I never knew.. But when I'm way up here.. It's crystal clear.. That now I'm in a whole new world with you.. Now I'm in a whole new world with you.. Unbelievable sights.. Indescribable feeling.. Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling.. Through an endless diamond sky.. A whole new world.. Don't you dare close your eyes.. A hundred thousand things to see.. Hold your breath - it gets better.. I'm like a shooting star.. I've come so far.. I can't go back to where I used to be.. A whole new world.. Every turn a surprise.. With new horizons to pursue.. Every moment red-letter.. I'll chase them anywhere.. There's time to spare.. Let me share this whole new world with you.. A whole new world.. That's where we'll be.. A thrilling chase.. A wondrous place.. For you and me..

It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.. She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.. And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?".. And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight.".. We go to a party and everyone turns to see.. This beautiful lady that's walking around with me.. And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?".. And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight.".. I feel wonderful because I see.. The love light in your eyes.. And the wonder of it all Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.. It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head.. So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed.. And then I tell her, as I turn out the light.. I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.. Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

I HEART YOU DQ!!!

ok, so double date next friday, woohoo. lol that would totally rock my world, you have no idea. :) haha fun fun.. and hilarious pictures from today, too. gabe and tyler, settle down now.

Blondie3535:
bravesbabie810: howd you do that?!
bravesbabie810: lol
Blondie3535: magic
Blondie3535: haha
Blondie3535: it's got \ and
Blondie3535: shift and \
Blondie3535: equals
bravesbabie810: huhhhhh
Blondie3535:
Blondie3535: type that
bravesbabie810: ooooooh wow.. that's SUPER crazy
Blondie3535: haha
bravesbabie810: ?
bravesbabie810: nope.
bravesbabie810:
bravesbabie810: ahhhh haaaaaa