I know you're always throwing kisses from the sky..

I know you're always throwing kisses from the sky
Well, tonight I caught one

For you Lindsay.. I know that everything will be okay.. like Adam said, she's not gone. She'll always be in your heart.. if you want to talk on and on and on, I'm here to listen.. that's what friends are for. :)

So, school tomorrow. I'm indifferent.. I don't want to be sitting at home bored all day, but sleeping in is always nice. Well, actually, tomorrow I do get to sleep in.. I have an orthodontist appointment and then I'm going to Panera for breakfast.. mmm, yum.

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Merry Christmas,
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying
"I love you" and meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
Oh my I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A friend to discover with a fire in her heart
A girl under cover but you tore me apart
You tore me apart, ooo-ooo
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
A friend to discover with a fire in her heart
A girl under cover but you tore me apart
Maybe next year,
I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.

I'm carrying your love with me.. it's my strength for holding on..

hey y'all.. Emma is here.. and she's crazy as usual.. but she's actually eating! Oh, there goes her cell phone, Miss Social.. it's Kat. Geez, I see how it is.. she comes over to visit me and sits on my bed talking to all of her friends.. now, when is Pat calling? That'll be an hour-long conversation :) haha.. and I'll just sit here reading my book like a good little nerd. Speaking of nerd, we just took an I.Q. test.. we got 124.. is that good? It didn't tell us if we were morons or geniouses.. but I'll bet on the latter. Anyways, today I went Christmas shopping with Grammy.. and got Sarah done.. and some of the kids stocking stuffers.. and I got my book! :) and.. scarf, mittens, and a hat from Gap.. so cool, but I can't have them till Christmas.. oh well.. alright, well, cards are calling.. so I will see you all later.. x's and o's..

-abby

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking
I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you..
I'll pretend my heart's still beating
'cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

what you do to my heart just makes me melt..

Well, most of you know Grace. In her xanga, I was reading, and I stumbled upon this entry and I absolutely fell in love with it. She said it perfectly, so Grace, I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to put it in here. With your whole situation, it applies, and Grace, I love you forever even if Kyle doesn't. And remember.. you've got Luke.. and I've got Mark.. ;) Oh, what would we do without those boys? We should go on a double date sometime! Haha, that would be hilarious.. we'll have to ask the boys about that.. haha

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
And tonight, girl, it's only you and me..

I heard this song for the first time in a while.. and I started bawling.. I thought of all those precious memories I've just trashed.. it reminds me that it's hard to let go, it really is.. but ya kno? some day im gonna look in another guy's eyes and he's gonna look in mine, and we're going to both think that we're made for each other. and he's going to love me for who i am and he'll protect me and hold me in his arms.. someday, but not today. today's not the day, and neither was last year, and most likely not next year. and although im here without you, baby.. i’ve already had those nights where it's been only you and me, and i won't forget them.. i still think about you all the time.. but maybe ill keep you to my dreams, as the reality fades away.. so here's to you and me and what we had.. i know you let go, now it's my turn..

it's the story of a charmed life..

So I was listening to a cd today.. and I loved this song..

It's a charmed life
Innocence wild
Crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of a very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life

It's a charmed life
Unexplainable grace
Stumbling, you fall right into place
It's a childlike world and you can feel the magic
Far from the typically tragic
That's the beauty of a charmed life

Who needs to know
When it all comes and when it all goes
Who needs to know just when
Fate will take you there

It's a charmed life
Innocence wild
Crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of a very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life

Who needs to know
When it all comes and when it all goes
Who needs to know just when
I know you'll be there

It's a charmed life
Innoncence wild
Crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of a very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life

And the thunder rolls, the thunder rolls..

Name four bad habits that you have :
1. getting in the way, i guess
2. being brutally honest, sometimes
3. not telling people how i honestly feel.. protecting myself from getting hurt
4. being very self-concious

Name four things you wish you had:
1. a big brother.. oh, do I wish
2. a new digital camera
3. money to go shopping until my heart's content
4. someone to star-gaze with

Name four scents you love:
1. so pink
2. sweet pea
3. coffee :)
4. southern pecan coffee

Name four things you'd never wear:
1. bad 80's clothes
2. leather pants
3. black and brown together
4. one of those very nice shirts we saw in new york (haha emily, grace, and erin)

Name four things you are thinking about right now:
1. my glasses
2. the stars
3. thanksgiving – tomorrow
4. new york

Name four things you have done today:
1. went to the cafe
2. walked through the rain
3. got my glasses
4. read "Let Me Call You Sweetheart"

Name the four things you have bought:
1. A-list
2. a caramel macchiato
3. pink stiletto flips
4. a pink and black dress

Name four people you would like to spend more time with:
1. God, most definitely
2. my closest friends
3. the rest of my friends
4. my family (especially the ones that I don't see very often)

Name four bands/groups most people don't know you like:
1. blindside
2. plumb
3. mxpx
4. thousand foot krutch

Name four drinks you drink regularly:
1. i.c. caramel
2. caramel latte
3. caramel macchiato
4. strawberry gatorade

Name four random facts about yourself:
1. i love new york
2. i love my music
3. i would die without fruit
4. i would die without my pictures

used to be so full of faith, now it only hurts..

HALF DAY TODAY! And I'm going to the cafe after school.. which will always be fun, no matter how many times you go to the cafe, and get the same things, it's always fun, never, never boring. Haha.. but today it's only me, Mere, Fig, and Castles.. alright. Uhhh.. yes.. today was boring, we didn't do a thing. In health, we watched "Supersize Me", in Science, we did nothing, in history, we did our poster and went over the worksheet Erin and I didn't have to do, and here, in Graphic Arts, I'm not doing anything, but that's no surprise. We never do anything in here, but I'm really not complaining. Free time, I guess. So.. I have an eye appointment at 3 today.. oy. I failed my eye test when the school took it, so I'm going to have it done again.. hopefully it'll be better. I can't really picture myself with glasses. But, I guess it'll go over like it needs to. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.. what are you thankful for? I'm thankful for my friends that understand me, my friends that like me for who I really am, my family that is always there, everyone that supports me in everything that I do, Kendra, who will never turn her back on me, Erin, Grace, and Emily, for all of us having an amazing time in New York, all my other friends that are there for me, what would I do without you? I'm thankful for everything that I have.. but tomorrow, I am going to Maryland, to my grandma's.. I get to make the name tags, once again.. but it'll be exciting.. family tradition, I guess. Aunt Michelle is coming.. I doubt Josh will be there, I don't even know where he is.. what if Ty comes? That will be kind of weird, considering the circumstances. When I come back tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to Grammy's for like half an hour just to visit.. then I'm going to Chris' for dinner.. everyone will be there.. the normal side of the family.. I know it's horrible to say that, but it's true. Wow, this is getting pretty long, sorry for boring you all out of your minds.. well, about 5 minutes left in the day, so I'm gonna head out.. see y'all later..

x's and o's
abby

Watching through a window..

Hey, guys.. I'm sitting here in Graphic Arts, once again. But this time, I'm supposed to be doing my test for History.. that's due in 15 minutes.. and I still have my essay to do.. hmph. So, let me finish that, and I'll write more.. one minute.. alright, so I kind of B.S.'ed my way throught that.. haha I'll let you know my grade on that one when I get it back. Okay, ten minutes left in this class.. I am so bored, it's not even funny.. Uhh.. I went to the bubble today for a science lab, but it was supposed to be on Thursday, so I didn't bring anything warm to wear. So when I found out (thank you, Lucy), I was running around like a chicken with my head cut until a very nice upper-classman let me where their letterman jacket (thanks, again.. yes, I stayed warm).. so yeah, I need to put this away before the bell rings, so I will see you all later..

** cafe on Wednesday after school.. anyone who wants to come, let me know **

x's and o's
abby

Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?

Hey everyone.. well, yesterday was amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Well, I started off the day by spilling my coffee :) haha, that was funny. And we went to this 4-story Toys 'R' Us.. went to lunch at Rockefeller Center and saw a man propose at the ice skating rink.. went on a horse-drawn carriage through Central Park.. that was my favorite part. Well, I gotta go, but I'll write more later.. see ya!

'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City...

'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me....

A song called "New York City", by They Might Be Giants, that I found because Abby is in New York City right now and I miss her! (I love you, Abby) By the way, I have to tell you a story then (tell me 'tramp' and I'll remember)....

So, anyway, this is Anna writing for Abby because she is gone.... And I'm sure she's having a fabulous time in the big apple... They went to see a broadway show, "Cookin'" which was supposed to be pretty good... So, Abby, I hope you're having fun! I miss you and I love you and I hope you read this when you get back! Later lovely!

-Anna M. S.

How beautiful you are, you seem so far, from everything you wanted to be..

The strands in your eyes, that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains, thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me, that we belong together
Dress it up with the trippings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls, angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me, that we belong together
Dress it up with the trippings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in turned on, remembered the thing you said

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

My mind is reeling as if in a dream, where pieces of the day's puzzle are unraveling and rewoven into a new mosaic, defying the improbability of the cut edges fitting. Once again, I feel as though I were watching my life in a movie, unable to pause time. I can only stare at the screen with glassy eyes as I watch my life unfold. I see my life playing on the screen, but I don't recognize it. I want everything to be so different, but I'm in a trance, unable to move, unable to change it.

Something deep inside keeps my faith alive..

hey guys.. sorry for the super depressing entry I made earlier.. just on my mind. But, I'm all better now because I'm going to New York tomorrow.. in 12 hours exactly. Oh man, it'll be fun.. yay. :) New York, I don't think you're ready for us. Ahhh, oh my gosh, you have no idea. I'm like.. going crazy because I can't wait. We're going to Ground Zero, where they're building the new tower.. and to Central Park.. and to Cold Stone.. and Rockefeller Center.. and Macy's. Oh dang, we'll never get enough. Ok, well I'm going to go get everything ready for tomorrow.. outfit, camera, music, pillow, coffee, and such. And I'll see you all on Friday, I love you, you guys are the greatest, what would I do without you? :) You give me joy that's unspeakable, and I like it. Great Newsboys song. Hmm, you help me through everything, and I can't thank you enough.

-abby

Take me on, make me catch my breath..

Well, here I am, in Graphic Arts. I'm sitting here staring at my arms because Anna doodled all over them.. "Anna loves my biceps!" "I'm a holly berry." "Of course I will marry you, I love you!" Haha, that's my arm. Well, slight confusion is englufing my mind.. with my mom and all. Don't really know what to do about that, don't know how I feel about it all. I guess I can't change her view, I can't take back her pain, but I can try, right? I can try to play God and fix everything. I can try, even knowing that it's a feeble attempt at curing my world.. I'll never succeed at making her feel better, making myself feel better, but I can try, can't I? I just don't want to sit back here like I'm watching it all play through a video camera and not being able to "Pause", giving myself time to think. So I'm going to have a role in this movie, maybe an effective one, I'm not really sure. I can't be sure until everything has happened that's going to happen and I can look back on it all and point out my mistakes and what I should have done. All I can do is try. And I will. I'm going to try to help her, try to make her feel better. I'm going to try to help myself, I'm going to try to make myself feel better.

-me

Anna, stop reading this, you suck.

It's you, only you, that I'll be missing..

Hello, my lovlies. Oh boy, today was a rough one. I just.. don't know what to do anymore. I guess it's okay to cry once in a while. I'm just.. sick of everything. I can't just let go of it because I need to do something about it, but at the same time, there's nothing I can do.

Anyways, Lindsay and Anna, I love you both. Keep your heads up. There's one song that I love that you both need to hear: Things will get better this I promise you. Lonliness won't last forever. I'm here for you both, forever. Never forget it, okay? Lindsay, good luck with that conversation and Anna, don't worry about it. She doesn't even know you. The only reason that people do things like that is because they're jealous. That's right, she's jealous of you and the "short guy." I love you DQ, I love you Plastic.

-Abby

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder..

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
And she can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah

The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle

I like those songs.. so I put 'em in here.. especially the last one.. good song. Anyways, last night was a blast.. haha the Electric Slide (Kaila and I suck) haha.. the Cha-Cha.. the Chicken Dance.. the Spider Web game (we so kicked butt!), out version of Mission Impossible (once again, we kicked butt.. and I got $2 haha).. That was the most fun I've had with the youth in a while.. Kate, you should've been there! Hmm.. today, no one was in church.. and then Sarah, Nan, and I went to American Eagle for their sale.. and I got jeans, pink pants, tan pants, a gray "I'm a Ski Nut!" shirt, white polo, red sweater, and green fleece.. for $200.. I'm broke. :( Now I'm sitting here (in my new pants) waiting for half an hour until everyone gets here.. and then once the party gets started, it'll be all good. My uncle said that he was going to run Nick through the CSIS to make sure he didn't have a criminal background.. haha he just looked at my homecoming pictures today.. "Don't worry, it won't last long." haha thanks Uncle Kerry, but I beg to differ. Hmm.. New York in 4 days.. I'm so excited.. I think I'm wearing one of the outfits I got today. Yay, I'm so excited. I'm leaving the state with some of my closest friends and leaving my problems back her.. for just one day, I can get away from them.. one day, I don't have to look them in the face and fight. I can be myself without having to worry about anyone or anything. I can just be free for one day and it will the best day I've had in a while. No thoughts, no regrets.. just do it and have fun. When I come back, everything will still be here, but I'll have a new strength to take them on. Well, the chilli downstairs is beckoning, so I'll see most of you tomorrow.. bye!

xoxo -- abby

It's all in my head, I think about it over and over again..

NEW YORK CITY! Countdown: 6 Days!
Beamy *23* Lou *2* Le Fin *76* Lehmie *8*
Deth *11* Spielberg *15* Confizzle *55* BriG *0*

WOOHOO! Who's excited? So my group is going to GrOuNd ZeRo, CeNtRaL pArK, aNd CoLd StOnE!

Man, I am so pumped! It's gonna be so great! Cold, but great! I'm going to try and find an outfit at American Eagle on Sunday (F&F invitation sale).. since we're going to see a show, we can't scrub it, so we have to dress up a little, but no heels.. they will kill. So I have no idea what I'm wearing. I sound like Annie haha.. hmm.. Evan is in bed and my parents are gone and I'm bored out of my mind.. what can I do? I think I'll work on my science homework and then that advent calendar. Yeah, so I'm gonna go do that, and I'll see you all later.

x's and o's..
abby

I ain't never had too much fun..

Beep. Beep. Beep. Annie tossed in her bed as her alarm went off. Still half asleep, she threw her hand out from under the covers to hit the round button on top of the noisy machine beside her bed. Forcing her eyes open, she lifted her head to read the numbers on the clock. 6:00 a.m. She dropped her head back down to the pillow. It was just one of those mornings. She’d been up late last night. Thinking, mostly. Ever since she’d met Mike, that’s all she had been doing. I guess that meant she’d been thinking for the past year and a half. But that’s just what he did to her. Swinging her legs out of bed, she headed for the shower.

I wrote that a while ago with the intent of writing a book, dedicating it to Jordan and Anna, of course. It was going to be a best-seller and I was going to become filthy rich. Well, didn't that dream go down the drain? This is as far as I got.. and I've got no idea how to finish it. Any ideas from you brilliant people reading this? Alright, well I've got to go figure out what I'm doing tonight -- Spisak's, Spencer's, game, or babysitting. See y'all later!

Go CARLISLE! Kick butt!

xoxo .. abby

I don't wanna close my eyes.. I don't wanna fall asleep..

Ahh, it feels so much better.. thank you. :)

You take my hand just to give it back..

I'd do anything to end your suffering, but you'd rather walk away. I know you understand and with a tear in my eye, give me the sweetest goodbye. And I don't trust you because every time you're near, your intentions are unclear. You take my hand just to give it back. I try to laugh, but cry instead.. patiently waiting to hear the words you've never said. There's only so much I can do for you after all of the things you put me through. I shiver when I hear your name.. think about you, but it's not the same. Immobilized by the thought of you. Paralyzed by the sight of you. Hypnotized by the words you say. Not true, but I believe anyway.

First Name: abby
Middle Name: rebecca
Last Name: beam
Nick Name[s]: babs, aggie, lacy, santa, beamy, baby, gazelle, etc.
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Birthdate: 16 October, 1990
Height: 5'6ish
Hair Color: dirty blonde
Eye Color: blue most of the time
Ethnicity: caucasion
Glasses: no
Contacts: no
Braces: yes
Hair Short or Long: long
You Were Born Where: carlisle, pa
You Now Live: carlisle
Astrology Sign: libra
Chineese Zodiac Sign: horse
Nationality: American
Tattoos: nope
Want Any?: don't think so

[Pets]
Do You Have Any Pets: yes, 2
Name[s]: king and keisha
Type Of Animal[s]: dogs
Have You Ever Had Any Other Pets Then Mentioned Up Above: cat, fish, and turtles

[School]
Current/Supposive Grade: freshman.. yea baby!
Favorite Grade: 8th grade
Worst Grade: 4th
Favorite Teacher: Mr. Poe and Maggie!
Worst Teacher: hmm.. Mrs. Stambaugh
Favorite Subject: english
Worst Subject: science
School Sports: hockey and hurdling

[Favorites]
Number: 35 and 68
Clothing Brand: american eagle
Shoes: flip flops
Sport: hockey and hurdling.. but to watch, football
Vegetable: french green beans and potatoes!
Fruit: strawberries!!
Candy: hershey's w/ almonods
Gum: orbit
Scent: so pink
Ice Cream Flavor: half baked, cookie dough, or snapper.. it's a toss-up.
Color: blue
Season: summer
Holiday: Christmas, hands down.
Band: there's no way I could have just one favorite
Singer: once again, I don't have just one favorite
Type Of Music: country!! yea man.. anna, you will be swayed!
Fast Song: ok, no more music songs.. I love so many.. just can't pick one.
Slow Song: wonderful tonight.. hmm.. yeah..
Restaurant: california cafe and PANERA!!! oh, and benihana, too!
Boys Name: don't really know
Girls Name: charlie
Car: hmm.. lindsay and I are selling our cars when we turn 16 and buying a stretch hummer!
Swear Word: umm, none.
Words/Sayings: hmm.. I talk too much to have just one favorite :)
Possesion: all my pictures, I would die without them..

[.Whats The First Thing That Comes To Mind When You Hear....]
Eminem: no
Hot: dog
Britney Spears: trashy
Orange: juice
Fuck: no
Bisexual: uhh?
Jack: Dawson's Creek
Rainbow: rain
Cherry: pie
shark: scary
Lifehouse: lighthouse

[.Private Life.]
Boyfriend Or Girlfriend: nope
Crush: nope
Do You Love Anyone Right Now: all of my friends, what would I do without you?
Have You Ever Been In Love: oh yes
Ever made out with anyone you dont know?: no
Still A Virgin: yes.
How Many Hearts Have You Broken: not sure.
How Many People Broke Your Heart: none
Whats Your Dream Guy/Girl Like: someone who makes me feel like I'm on top of the world.. tall, muscular.. with eyes that make me melt.. always there, through the thick and thin.. always
Do You Go More By Looks Or Personality: personality
Ever Kiss A Friend: no
Are You Still Friends: no

So Moving Along..
Ever Trip On Acid: ugh! no way
How About A Little xTc: no, I don't do drugs and I resent people that feel they need to have drugs in their lives to make everything better.. I'm sorry, but how do you really feel in the end? After you've ruined your life and quite possibly the life of someone else? Does it make everything better?
Crack, Heroin, Anything Else: NEVER.

[Would You Ever]
Bungee Jump: ohhh yess!
Sky Dive: yes yes yes
Swim With Dolphins: yes
Scuba Dive: yes
Go Rock Climbing: yes
Eat Shit For $1,000,000: hmm, i don't think so.
Change Your Religion: no
Cross-Dress: no
Lie To The Police: nah
Walk Up To A Total Stranger And Kiss Them: no
Streak: no!

[Your Friends]
Best Friend: I don't have a best friend, but I'd have to say, the one that I know the most about and she knows the most about me, would be Kendra
Known Longest: Kendra
How Many Friends Do you Think You Have: way too many..
How Many Do You Actualy Hang Out With: all of them!
Ever Lose A Good Friend Because You Took It To The Next Level: no
Craziest: Kara
Loudest: Meredith

Shyest: Mandy Dugan
Best Hair: Erin
Can Always Make You Laugh: jordan!
Best Eyes: brandon
Best Body: guy -- austin rutz! yea man.. haha kristin ;) girl -- I don't think we've got one.. everyone's got flaws..
Most Athletic: jon and megan
Hot Tempered: meredith and logan
Most Impatient: lindsay
Shortest: autumn and lindsay.. haha
Tallest: me and castles
Talented: umm, all my friends are good at something
Best Singing Voice: emily, lauren, mere, kristin.. so good, so good.
Skinniest: grace, lauren, (and I would say autumn, but her pot-belly keeps her off the list.. hahah kidding, I LOVE YOU!) and austin
Nicest: tori, courtney
Best Personality: they all do!
Biggest Drug User: i don't have druggie friends.

[Now]
So What Are You Eating: nothing
Anything To Drink With That: nothing
Whatchya Wearin: my ship shorts and my gray hockey shirt
Any Shoes: sneakers
Hair: up in a ponytail
Listening To Anything: Emily, Anna, and Grace in graphic arts.
Talking To Anyone: Emily, Anna, and Grace
Are You Artisitc: sure
Are You A Fast Runner: haha no
Do You Own A Hot Pink Shirt: yes
How About Orange Pants: yes
Can You See The Flying Monkeys: ooooo from the wizard of oz!

xoxo..
abby

When you refuse me, you confuse me..

Why, hello all. Today was one heck of a day.. a hard day, I'll put it that way. I'll get through all this. I will. Tonight's PowderPuff.. go JUNIORS (yeah Elliot and Rehm!) and Austin Rutz ;) haha so kidding.. ok, well I'm gonna go get ready, so I'll see y'all there.. bye!

xoxo -- abby

I will not forget the day when the sides were chosen.. me against me against me

Well, tonight brought on a whole new outlook. I'm sorry, Kate. I'm sorry, Aaron. I'm really, really sorry.

Kate, I understand where you're coming from, and I really do wish that you wouldn't have taken it the way you did, but I understand. If you were talking about the little survey I had in here a couple days ago, let me explain. It said, the last person you missed and I wrote Vince and Aaron. The next couple of quesions I wrote 'same as above', but I didn't mean Aaron, that was my fault. See, Vince was a friend of mine that died in an airplane crash 5 years ago.. and with it being 5 years, it's just been on my mind so much lately.. and that what I meant by that. And later on I wrote 'This may get me in trouble' and I don't know if you saw that and were upset with it, but one of my best friends also knew Vince.. and she hates talking about it, thinking about it, anything that has to do with it. She hates when I bring it up.. and that's my ''running theme''. If your upset, I'm so sorry, you have the right to be, but I didn't mean for anything to happen. I don't like him, that's the way I am with everybody.. and I don't know if you were the only person saying anything to Aaron or not, but I'm sorry this all happened. I guess for a while, I'll just stay away and not say anything if that's what it takes. And I hope everyone's happy now.

-me

There's a smile on your face lets me know that you need me..

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the darke
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if I ever fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if I ever fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

I am victorious!

Even though someone's dad called me a different name then that of which was given to me at my birth, I was told that I was, and always would be, the favored being in this person's father's eyes....So all I have to say is HAHA! Vini, viti, vichi! *Me*

she was like wine turned to water and back into wine..

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh, when's it gonna end

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

It just fits. And tonight, I'm going to start walking. Just walking away. And he's the only one that can stop me. : -Babs

I sometimes wish that I could fly..

Favorites.
Word(s):: i love you
Language:: english, although French is a close second
Food:: strawberries and bananas
Drink:: orange italian soda
T.V show:: smallville, 7th heaven, and lost
Pet:: dogs
Animal:: peacock
Number:: 35 and 68.. 35 is the Thomas family number and 68 is my dad's football number
Telephone number:: haha, what is my favorite telephone number? gotta be 867-5309.
Holiday:: Christmas -- less than 7 weeks away
Week day:: friday
Place:: new york city
Weather:: rain. i love the rain
Flower:: daisies.. and lillies
Scent:: so pink
Color:: blue
Store:: american eagle
Style:: don't have one.. it's all my mood
Book:: the giver and the christmas box
Celebrity:: hmm.. i really like Tom Hanks.. and Matt Damon
DVD:: grease and save the last dance

Have you ever...
Kissed the same sex:: uhh, no.
Went to third:: haha Lindsay, I loved your answer for this and the next one, but I don't play softball, so I can't use 'em.. but no..
Went to second:: no
Gotten detention:: nope
Gotten suspended:: nope
Got grounded:: yeah
Cheated on someone:: no way
Were caught cheating:: no
Lost your wallet:: probably
Lost your cell phone:: no
Spied on your mom and dad:: haha yeah
Were caught doing something wrong:: define wrong.
Cursed at your parents:: no
Been in love:: yes
Been loved:: yes
Used a friend:: probably, and if I did, I'm so sorry.. I know it hurts
Been used by a friend:: oh yeah. probably..
Lost a friend:: yeah..
Been cheated on:: I can't call it cheating.. not in our circumstance.. but it still hurt.
Been to the emergency room:: ugh, yes.
Broken a bone:: nope

Are you...
Lesbian/Gay:: no
Bisexual:: noo
Somewhat attractive:: you tell me..
Depressed:: not really
In pain:: nope
Worried:: yeah..
In shock:: no
Exited:: yeah.. about new york city.. 11 days! yeah man!
Happy:: yep
Obsessed:: just concerned..
A drug addict:: haha no!
A smoker:: no..
An alcoholic:: no..
A loner:: haha no
Loved:: i sure hope so
Hated:: chances are, yes (and I think I can tell you her name)
Wanted:: wouldn't that be great?
Unwanted:: yes, by the same person that hates me
Shy:: haha no way..
Bored:: always
Having fun:: yes, Evan is the cutest thing..
Listening to music:: of course, Skillet 'Forsaken'
Watching T.V:: no
On the computer:: yes..
Doing homework:: no, but I probably should be

Choose...
Chocolate or Vanilla:: chocolate
Dog or Cat:: dog
Sleeping or Awake:: awake
Sunny or Gloomy:: sunny...but i like gloomy days too
Dark or Light:: dark
Pretty or Ugly:: pretty
Wanted or Unwanted:: wanted
Burgers or Hot Dogs:: burgers
Sitting or Standing Up:: standing up
Computer or T.V:: computer
Noise or Silence:: depends.. i love those silent understandings that you have with the people most important in your life.. but then i hate awkward silences
Boys or Girls:: both
Slut or Decent:: haha decent (sorry Emily and Grace)
Nice or Mean:: nice
Stupid or Smart: smart
Shy or Funny:: funny, but shy is cute
Rain or Snow:: BOTH
Cold or Warm:: warm
Alone or Companioned:: if it's just been one of those days that you come home exhausted in every possible way, then alone. or it could be a day that you need someone there with you because you hate the thought of being alone..
School or No School:: school
Enemy or Friend:: friend
Cat Fight or Fist Fight:: umm, neither.
Gum or Candy:: gum
Juice or Soda:: juice
Beer or Cigarette:: ick, neither
Old or Young:: young
Boring or Fun:: fun
Numbers or Letters:: letters
Bath or Shower:: shower

Currently...
Wearing:: jeans and a t-shirt
Watching:: nothing
Listening to:: Thousand Foot Krutch 'This is a Call'
Staring at:: one of my homecoming pictures..
Eating:: a french vanilla pirouette
Drinking:: a caramel latte
Smelling:: my coffee
Tasting:: my coffee and pirouette
Thinking:: about new york city..
Mood:: bittersweet (But year after year I come back to this place/Just to remember the taste/Of strawberry wine and seventeen/The hot July moon saw everything/My first taste of love, oh, bittersweet/Green on the vine/Like strawberry wine)
Worry:: that things will never be the same and there's nothing I can do about it

Who was the last person...
You talked to:: Jordan
You listened to: Jordan
You looked at:: Evan
You smelled:: my dad
You touched:: Evan
You hugged:: my mom
You kissed:: my grandpa
You instant messaged:: Jordan
You were on the phone with:: Kaila
You miss:: Vince.. it's been 5 years.. and the old Aaron
You needed:: Vince.. I miss you so much..
You love:: Kendra.. oh, what would I do without you?
You cried with:: Kendra
You laughed with:: Emma
Yelled at:: Tyler
Who made you happy:: Granny
Who made you sad:: meh..
Who made you cry:: Kendra.. but it wasn't her.. I was crying with her..
You said hello to:: Evan
You said goodbye to:: Grace

If you could...
Go anywhere, where would you go:: Italy or England
Do anything, what would you do:: run around in the rain with the person I love the most
See anyone, who would you see:: I'd love to see my aunt becky and vince..
Fly, where would you fly:: Italy or England
Have anything you want, what would it be:: I would love to have the security of knowing someone will always be there, through the thick and the thin.. always there for me and nothing would ever change that.. nothing.

xoxo... Abby

When all your walls are down, there's love..

Running faster through the trees
Feeling nothing underneath
Your eyes are open wide
Let it come in...

Looking for a lot to show
Is it out there anymore
Your head is lifting up
To see how far to run

And you're feeling who you are
And you don't care who it is
How do you feel?
And you're barely wonderful
And you don't care if it hurts
How do you feel?
It's the last way out of here...

Falling backwards broken knees
Waiting to be in between
Your nature's where you are
Feeling the muse

Oh, yelling, screaming on the floor
Louder than you were before
You might just bite your tongue
When you're reaching for the one

And you're feeling who you are
And you don't care who it is
How do you feel?
And you're barely wonderful
And you don't care if it hurts
How do you feel?
It's the last way out of here...

Oh, when all your walls are down
When all your walls are down
There's love

And you're feeling who you are
And you don't care who it is
And you're barely wonderful
It's the last thing that you think
And you're feeling who you are
And you don't care if it hurts
And you're feeling love that you can't hang on

It's the last way
It's the last way
Stop to think when all your walls are down
When all your walls are down
Then there's love

You're taking what you're giving
When all your walls are down
When all your walls are down
Then there's love

It's the last way out of here...

I don't know how you do what you do, I'm so in love with you..

Sick. Blah. *Sniff* *Sneeze* Ugh. So annoying. I hate being sick. Time for some of that chicken noodle soup ;)

x's and o's..
- abby -

I'm in a trance from that one slowdance..

Hey y'all.. how are you doing? Well, today was a good day.. I went over to Meredith's after school to study for our science mid-term with Emily.. and we did no studying. Emily and I made some nasty macaroni and cheese (if you even want to call it that) and we locked Mere out of her own house.. and then we locked her in the basement! Slut, tramp, b*itch, whore! Haha.. that was funny.. Oh yeah, the whole thing was funny.. I don't think we ever stopped laughing. Anyways.. Anna, I tried to write your blog tonight, but it wouldn't let me.. it did the same thing that it was doing in Graphic Arts.. I'll keep trying, but I don't know if it'll work. SWINGERS, plastic. ;) $Joe$Money$ haha.. whetto. What is that? Sweet! Haha alright, back to a level of normalcy. Hmm, Aaron told me to make chicken Ramen noodles and that sounds pretty good, so I think I'm gonna have to do that soon. Yeah, now seems like a pretty good time. See y'all tomorrow -- sweatpants day!

I love you!
- abby -

If you really loved her, why'd you make her cry?

Cool, yay, I'm glad we got to talk last night about everything and worked it all out. Well, I guess everything's not perfect, nor will it be, but it suits me. :) Hmm.. I'm going to fail my science mid-term.. all Meredith's fault! Ahh, I don't know what I'm going to do.. going crazy! Going to fail science! AHH!

Ok, coming back to normal.. I'm exhausted.. these past few days have been crazy. BUT New York is in 15 days! And Christmas is in 7 weeks and 2 days.. I'm so excited, you have no idea! Yay, it's gonna be a blast.. Central Park and Ground Zero and then a Broadway show.. how could that possible be a bad day? It can't. Well, tomorrow is Graphic Arts with the coolest people in the world, so that excites me too..

Anyone happen to be great at giving massages? I would really appreciate one about now.. my back is killing me, but I don't know what I did to it.. ugh. But seriously, I'm in desperate need of one.. if we had youth group, I'd ask Sara, but we don't.

Alright, well I'm headed out, so I'll see you all tomorrow.. love you!

x's and o's..
abby

Were you ever there when she needed you?

Man to man Tell me the truth, tell me Were you ever there when she needed you Man to man Look me in the eye, tell me If you really loved her Why'd you make her cry? Man to man Who cheated who You're the one to blame Tell me it ain't true Man to man..

I heard that song today and it just made me think about.. everything that's been going on. Hmph. Last night was Mission Impossible.. most of the people that are going to read this were there.. so I don't have much to tell. Just kind of hurt. I don't know. It's just like.. I didn't even know what to do. I wanted to be so mad, but I couldn't because I guess I knew it was true, but I still didn't want to admit it. And I'm sorry about that. But.. honestly.. was it just me? Or am I crazy and did I imagine that you were in it, too? I don't want anyone to get "in trouble" because of this, I just want to get it straightened out and everything to be back to normal. I'm sorry for the way I acted on the way home, I just didn't know what to think. There were so many thing that I wanted to say to you, but I just didn't know how. And then you brought up the point of when you want to talk about something, just bring it up and the words will come. Yeah, that was directed at me, wasn't it? I'm sorry. You knew what was bothering me and I should've said something so that everything was back to normal. I'm sorry if what she told me was true.. lately, I've just been so excited that you've been you again.. really you. Not what anyone else wants you to be.. just you. And it's not just me realizing this.. but we like you better this way. But I guess that's why I've been acting the way I have.. because for a brief temporary moment in time, I went back to last summer. And it just got me in trouble.. so I'm going to do what you told her I should.. back off for a while. When it's okay for us to start talking again, please do, because I'll have no more rides home. :) Heh.. okay, I'm done now.

Sorry about all that jazz guys.. just had to get that out. So, who's ready for those science mid-terms (not me!!!)? Mere, I'm allowed to come over to study, okay? And who's psyched for New York? ME!!!! Oh, that reminds me.. I need to find out how to get from wherever we get dropped off to Central Park and then to Ground Zero.. that's gonna be so cool, I'm really excited! Woohoo. My group: Emily, Erin, Grace, Mere, Me.. Kristin's group: Kristin and Rachel.. we're sticking together, right? Okay, well I gotta head out, I'll see you in school tomorrow.. love you!

Anna: "Homecoming was mint." OMGosh, I can't believe he said that, and when I found it, we freaked out! You picked a good one (holds hand up to belly button), you Plastic.

Emily: Hope you feel better and don't worry about New York.. it'll be fine.